Eileen
by tyrzgz
Summary: "He didn't really care about people' talking, mostly because he had no clue himself why she left him. She never explained it to him. She just walked away one day." Rather Dan's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Everything from the show happened, except season 6 and last episode of season 5. DB went to Rome. Here you have some dates, which should help.

March 2012 – Beginning of DB relationship.  
Summer 2012 – Rome.  
September 30, 2014 – Proposal.  
June 9, 2015 – DB Wedding  
June 8, 2016 – Blair's "escape".  
July 4, 2016 – DB meeting (1).  
February 23, 2017 – Eileen's Birthday.  
August, 2017 – DB meeting (2).  
May 1, 2021 – DB meeting (3) Beginning of this story.

Characters are not mine. Sorry for all mistakes and as always I'm asking for forbearance.

* * *

**Eileen (Part 1)**

There were so many important dates in Dan Humphrey's life. Those happy and successful, those sad and miserable, those unexplainable and horrible, and those he even didn't know that exist and affect him.

Friday, May 1, 2021. This is the day which Dan Humphrey will never forget, for sure. It started with shock and madness, then transformed into bigger shock and daze to be ended with complete change of his current life. Nothing made sense but in the same time everything started to be composed in a flat whole.

The significant day was a week after his official promotion to an editor of The New Yorker. Over three and a half years ago, when he lost his last hope to get his previous life back, Dan devoted himself completely into work. He wrote another bestseller – _Drafts_ was darker, more analytical, relating to life dilemmas which obviously bothered him at that time – carrier or family, reality or fairytale, happiness or obligation, risk or stagnation, fight or passivity, communication or dishonesty – basically everything what he had to deal for the past few years with. Also he became the youngest and the most promising and talented Editorial Head in one of the most influential and prestigious magazine in the country. Yes his job was the only thing keeping him sane, every new idea, every new project consumed his full attention and power, he did everything, everything to not thinking and to not going back to empty home.

There were rumors about reasons of his wife leaving. Mindless chatter of people from UES, usually those shallow and narrow-minded during that pointless parties, was full of various mostly cruel and unconfirmed gossips and possibilities: that she cheated on him and left with her high school billionaire boyfriend or with other rich, potent heir from UES, or that she simply awakened and finally dumped poor, no class writer from Brooklyn, as all of them predicted different social status and different origin were from the beginning the insurmountable barriers, some of them even suggested that he cheated on her, as a lousy, bohemian artist befits. But he didn't really care about people' talking, mostly because he had no clue himself why she left him. She never explained it to him. She just walked away one day. He met her twice for the past five years but 'met' it's way too big word, he rather saw her, and one meeting was worse than the other. But frankly nobody knew where she was for all these time. She hid from the world, she hid from him.

In that Friday morning after the shower, when Dan was preparing himself for the staff meeting, because they should started to close next week's issue, he got a phone call.

He looked skeptical on unlisted ID, that was his private phone number after all, very few people had it, but pressed a green button anyway. "Hallo. Dan Humphrey is speaking." He got no answer. "Hallo?" He waited for a few seconds, and when he was ready to hang up…

"It's Blair." She finally spoke with shaking voice. He froze. She waited for his respond, but he couldn't say anything, he wanted, he wanted to snap or yell at her, he felt a growing anger inside of him, but he couldn't find words, he just tensed and sat on the edge of a bed in total shock, helpless. "We have to meet. It's really important. Today if you can." She paused waiting a moment. He said nothing. She sighed heavily, nervously. "I will wait in Café Rose at 10." She stated calmly, with that she ended a call.

"Who the fuck you think you are?" Dan said out laud, so madly and threw a phone on a bed. He had to postpone a meeting at work and delegate his duties for today on subordinates, he wasn't very pleasant about it. He barely became an editor, he worked so hard for that, and now he felt like he neglected his responsibilities. Someone trusted him, someone believed in him and now it seems like he overuses it and bosses people around already. "Damn you Blair." He grabbed his things and hurried to the car.

When he walked in to a building 30 minutes before time, he was surprised because she was there already. He almost didn't recognize her. Blair was sitting at the table by the window in a corner, with a cup of coffee between hands. The place was strangely empty, so his eyes could catch only her. All anger seemed to get out of him in a second he saw her. She didn't look good, he must admit that. She was beautiful to him, no matter what, but something was wrong. She was dangerously skinny and very pale, shadow under her eyes were visible from where he stood. No makeup, shorter, tangled hair, wrinkled dress and ballerinas didn't speak well about her condition either. He suddenly became nervous and worried.

Blair was looking outside, clearly lost in her thoughts. "Ykhm" He cleared his throat, standing right next to her table. She didn't expect him yet, because she shuddered on the sound. She didn't raise her eyes at him. He sat in front of her and gazed at her tentatively. Couple minutes passed in silence. "I'm not going to sign those papers you threw in my face almost five years ago." He stated confidently, harshly.

"Oh that's too bad, because it's about time don't you think." She gave him only a shade of her famous disdain glare.

"Well, I think that I deserve a solid explanation, what the fuck happened all these years ago."

"You deserve nothing from me." She riposted certainly.

"You walked away without a single word, oh no sorry you disappeared the day before our first wedding anniversary, and you really don't feel that I need a little clarification on that fact."

"Actually I don't." She looked away, still holding firmly a mug.

"Then you don't get a divorce." He said angrily, resisting on a chair and crossing his arms.

She sighed tiredly, trying to calm herself down. "I'm not here to discuss this or argue with you. I have bigger issues than that, right now."

"I bet you have." He snapped immediately.

Blair put a cup on a table and started buttoning and unbuttoning fidgety one particular clasp of her cashmere, beige cardigan. "I want to ask you a favor." She paused and looked him straight in the eyes. "A big one."

He softened, instantly worried, he tried to fight this feeling. 'I will never stop caring about her hyh' he thought mad at himself. But he didn't change his attitude. "That's interesting." He sat on a chair more nonchalantly.

Blair really didn't know how to start. She prepared a speech earlier but nothing seemed fit now. She decided to begin straight forward, and announced. "I have a daughter."

That was a bomb for Dan, nuclear one. His arms dropped, his body sank deeper in a chair startled, deeply hurt. "You… you have a… a… a daughter?" He stammered. Blair just nodded, anxiously. After a moment he tried to ask. "How…" He paused and shook his head. "How old is she?"

"She turned 4 in February." A faint smile formed on her face, when she smoothed her dress shyly, looking down.

Dan straightened up a little and put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. "I get it, I get it all now." Blair looked at him unsure what was he talking about. "So when I was looking for you all this time, you… you were…" He shook his head in disbelieve.

"Please just listen to me." She pleaded.

"You are right you don't have to explain to me anything." He started to rise up, devastated, waving a hand.

"Dan." She begged softly, trying to stop him. He reacted on the sweet sound of his name in her voice, 'Blair Waldorf never begs' Dan thought. He sat back weakly. "Dan, I need your help it's really, really important to me." He just looked at her with sad eyes. She decided to continue. "Well Ellie, my daughter, is very sick." She tried to hold the tears back. "She needs kidney transplantation, straight away basically."

Dan exhaled heavy at the news. "I'm really sorry to hear that Blair." He said sympathetically and he sighed again. "But I don't think I'm able to do anything." He paused, thinking. "I don't have any connections in medical profession…"

Blair interrupted him. "No, no. It's not that. She is on transplant waiting list of course and has fantastic medical care. It's not the case why I was asking you to meet me." She wiped tears and took a deep breath. She got his full attention now. "My point is that the doctor said that the best way to quickly find a donor for her would be conducting tests among close or even distant relatives and… and maybe luckily find a match, what would lead to a living donor related kidney transplant procedure, shortly family transplant." She saw that he listened to her very carefully. "I and my family members did that already and unfortunately none of us is suitable enough. And here is coming my big entreaty." She breathed deeper this time. "Could you…" She grunted hesitantly. "Could you and your… your family possibly undergo those tests?" Blair finally asked. "At the beginning it's simply blood test, if it's ok, later they do little more complicated tests for major histocompatibility complex and then…" She caught a breath after that small attempt of explanation.

"Wait, wait, wait." Dan shook his head, resting his elbows on a table, blinking uncontrollably, losing his mind slowly. "What are you trying to say here, Blair?"

"Dan I know I'm asking a lot, and that you are not obliged by no means to help me. But…"

"I really don't understand." He said to himself and put his hands on a head, confused. Deep inside he exactly knew what that meant, but even as giant intellect as Dan's had difficulties with processing that piece of information.

"I'm just trying to catch every opportunity to save my child." She whispered with teary eyes. "Dan. I know it all is quite unexpected for you and that it's really hard to think clearly right now, so I think it will be better when I leave you alone." She started to gather her things. "It's very serious decision… I know." She suspended her voice. "Just think about it. But whatever you decide it's ok, I understand." She stated calmly, nodding genuinely understanding, then she stood up from the table.

"No, no wait!" He rushed to her so hastily that he hit the table causing trembling of all items on it. He caught her arm lightly. "Blair?!" He called out with horror in the voice, when he felt nothing more than her bone under his palm, then he eyed her attentively and saw explicitly her skeleton instead a healthy body. "Blair." He reaped mildly.

"What?" She asked half annoyed half embarrassed, reliving her arm from his grip nervously.

"Nothing." He decided to leave the subject aside for now. "Just stay, please. Sit down." So she did. Dan was silent for a several moments, pulling himself together. "What does that mean? That… that I'm the father of your daughter?" He watched her with puppy eyes full of hope.

Blair shifted awkwardly on a chair, she didn't expect this, but he clearly needed confirmation from her about that. She nodded slightly. "Yes." She tried to sound decidedly, but her voice broke even on that short, monosyllabic word. Dan exhaled, visibly relieved, but tensed up in the same time.

"My God, Blair." He tilted over a table, closing to her. "Why didn't you tell me? Why?" He looked away, feeling aggrieved. "What did I do to you that you left being pregnant with our baby?" Dan asked moodily.

"Oh you exactly know what you did." She snapped. "And I didn't know that I was pregnant yet. And it wasn't that I didn't try to tell you when I found out." She defended herself.

"I hardly believe that you tried." He said questionably. "That was maybe when you tossed divorce papers in front of me a month after your departure or when you were yelling at me in Paris almost four years ago, that you don't want to see me ever again and that I have to leave you alone because you don't love me for a very long time, that you loathe me in a deep way instead, and that I should go back to Brooklyn where I belong, during the French police brought me out from your father's house like some criminalist, that was maybe the time were you were trying to tell me that you already have our daughter." He rose his voice unintentionally.

"It was mistake to come here." She sniffed and rose up quickly with all dignity she managed.

Dan stood on her way. "You are not going anywhere, Blair." He said firmly. "Don't be stubborn. Pride leads us nowhere." She huffed and sat down on her chair back. "I'm not selfish asshole here, I'm completely aware that it's not about you and me and our unresolved problems. She is the most important, and I'm going to do all in my power to help her." He said composedly and resolutely. She dared to look at him faintly. "Ellie, right?" He wanted to make sure, a small smile form on his face.

"Yeah." She almost whispered, then coughed a bit. "Eileen, but we call her Ellie."

He nodded approvingly. "I will do it. Tests and all. And I will talk with dad and Jenny, today even. She is in New York fortunately, I planned to meet them at the evening anyway so. And I call my mom, and Scott if it's necessary but as my half brother he might be too distant for the match, but we try anyway." She nodded thankfully. "No worries about that. We do everything, everything to help her, ok?"

"Ok." She sighed with relive. "Thank you Dan. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, I would never say no." Blair nodded again, like she always knew that he would jump in it without hesitation.

"I knew you would say that. But not everyone would agree so easily… And you have justifiable reasons to dismiss me. So thank you, again."

"Tell me better how did you find out? How long? Since when is she ill?" He asked, trying to focus only on major problem, still feeling thunderstruck.

She predicted that he would want to know everything. "It doesn't last long. Two weeks after her birthday, at the beginning of March, we had doctor's appointment because she became a little apathetic and just lost appetite. Doctor suspected anemia but after a blood and urine tests they said that's renal failure." She stopped and grabbed a tissue from the table. "She had never problems with bladder or kidneys before, I swear to you, Dan." She kind of apologized, weeping. "I should have seen something. There had to be symptoms, I just missed out on them." She broke and started to sob. "It's all my fault."

"Shii Blair. It's not your fault." He grasped her both palms by his. "It's not your fault. Ok. I'm sure you are great mom and take care of Ellie impeccably." He squeezed her hands stronger. "She is just very little and she can't say herself that something is wrong. It's not your fault. As well it could have developed asymptomatic."

"I know, the doctor said it usually is like that in children cases."

"See." He shook their hands, comfortably.

"But to that stadium? Dialysis and transplant. It was basically too late for pharmacological treatment. I am responsible for that. I should have seen signs earlier, there had to be some."

"Don't blame yourself. You cannot see thing, which do not exists. Nobody could. You are not prophet. Ok? OK?" He shook their hands harder.

"Yhm." She glanced at them bashfully and noticed that he still was wearing his wedding band. He noticed that she noticed, and withdrew his hands tenderly.

"I should talk with your doctor." He said, when she wiped her cheeks and nose. "Could you maybe make an appointment for me as soon as possible, I'm in your disposal."

She sniffed. "Well, I'm going back directly to the clinic from here. You can go with me, if you… if you have time."

"Yes, of course. Let's go then. There's no time to waste." He offered, standing up. "Did you pay for coffee?"

"Not yet."

"Ok. I will take care of it."

"You don't have to."

"Wait for me at the exit. We will get there with my car."

In the parking, Dan opened a door for her and then passed around a car, put a little package on a backseat, and then sat on the driver's seat. "Here, take it." He gave her small box and plastic, transparent cup with carrot juice.

"What is this?"

"Your breakfast." She rolled her eyes annoyed and pushed it away. "Don't be a brat. You have to eat and drink it. Right here, right now." He stressed. "Otherwise I don't drive away." He looked at him with disbelieve. "I bet you ate nothing today, and in contrast to your believe hectoliters of coffee can't replace food." She snored irritated but gave up and opened a box.

"It's not that I don't eat." Blair confessed softly, chewing first bite of her sandwich, knowing that he alluded to her emaciated appearance.

"What about throwing it up?"

She almost choked, shocked by his suspicion. "No! Of course not. I'm not relapsing!"

"Ok." He lifted his hands up in surrender. "That's all I want to know. Sorry, but you lost so much weight." She heard concerned in his voice. "I'm guessing because all these stress and worry, but I had to be sure that's not something else." He paused. "You have to be strong for her. Physically too." He added quickly before she would protest. "Now, we both have to. And I will be there. You are not alone in this anymore." Dan declared heartfelt. She just nodded gratefully.

Blair sighed deeply before she took a second half of her sandwich. "She knows about you." He turned to Blair clueless. "Ellie knows you, as her dad. She knows what is your name, who you are, what you are doing, how you look like. She has your pictures. She is obsessed with photographs in general so she has plenty of various photos…" She started to ramble. He opened his mouth not exactly knowing what to say. "I also explained her that you are not around her because I didn't tell you about her existence and that if you would have known you would be… with her." She trailed off weakly. "I also promised her that when she would have wanted to meet you I would tell you about her. That was her Christmas wish last holiday, actually. She is kind of waiting for you." She looked at him unsure. "You can see with her today… If you want."

"Um. Yeah. Of course I want. I wanted to ask you about that but... Why are you telling me all of this?"

"I want you to know that I would have told you about her anyway. Despite the circumstances. That it's not because she is sick and I need your help. And believe me I know I'm doing it way too late, for both of you." Dan didn't respond. He just turned to the window and rested his elbow on a car glass, pondering intensively, waiting patiently until she finished her snack. With her last sip of juice, he drove off towards a hospital.

.

.

.

In the hospital Blair introduced Dan to a doctor who was taking care of Ellie since the beginning. Dr Simpson clarified to Dan his questions and doubts about transplant procedure and eventual transplantation,what does it exactly consist in, what can be consequences or complications, when someone can be qualify as a donor and how post-transplant life looks like for donor and recipient. Then he explained precisely girl's case and actual condition. Dan and Blair didn't exchange a word since her monologue in the car. After a meeting with doctor she led him to Ellie's room, at the door she asked him to wait a second. She opened them and came in.

"Mommy!" He heard exciting greetings from a little girl.

"Hi sweetheart. How do you feel?"

"Good." A girl answered joyfully. "We are drawing with Dorota, want to join us mommy?"

"Yeah of course, but maybe later because I brought for you very special guest today." She accented encouragingly.

"Really? Who is it?"

"You will see…" Dan's heart started to pant at a speed of light, his hands to sweat, legs to shake, when he heard Blair's steps nearer and nearer a hallway. Blair stood in the doorstep and beckoned at him. Dan peeked in firstly with shy, feeble smile and waved awkwardly, feeling silly. He was wondering how Eileen looks like since Blair confirmed that he is her father in the café. Then he tried to imagine her during whole ride to the clinic, but he couldn't visualize her at all. When he saw his daughter for the first time, he knew that nothing, ever will be compared to this beautiful view in front of him. She was sitting Indian style in the middle of an enormously big bed with removable table in front of her, wearing two-piece yellow pajama with cherries print, and fluffy, pink robe in white polka dots, thick, messy curls on her head swayed reinlessly. She didn't look at him right away. She was too focused on a painting. She held blue crayon in her left hand and colored passionately an element, then she brushed away a long, dark curl from her teeny forehead and finally glanced at the visitor.

"Daddy!" She called out happily surprised, wide, genuine smile appeared on her face. She dropped a pencil and opened her arms for a hug. His knees became weak and eyes wet at the sight immediately. He knew that she would recognize him after what Blair said to him, but he didn't expect that. He approached to her quickly and embraced her. "You came!" She said longingly, dreamy. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around him so tight and firm, that he couldn't keep his balance anymore. He leaned lower and smoothed a little back lovingly, trying to stop his tears. Dan really couldn't recall if he ever got that kind of hug.

"Of course I came." He released their embrace and faced her, holding her palms and bowing to her level. "I hope you are ok with that."

Ellie beamed at him. "I couldn't wait for it."

That was very emotional moment for the witnesses too. Dorota put one hand on her mouth, with the other she caught Blair's forearm supportively. Their relationship changed over these years. They became real friends. There were no more ridiculous uniforms or titles and prefixes. They were simply Blair and Dorota, Dorota and Blair, old close friends, inseparable duo, mutual source of love and assistance. Dorota still worked for Waldorf's but more as reliable and adored friend of the family than faceless, obedient , after goodbye with Dorota, sat emotionally exhausted, on an armchair across her daughter's bed, not saying anything just wiping tears, one after another, repeatedly.

"Sit next to me." She patted a spot on the bed. "I need your opinion on something." That was astonishing how natural she behaved around him since the first second she saw him. "I tried to learn how to draw a parrot today. Do you think it reminds a parrot?" She showed him a drawing.

Dan studied it for a moment. "To me it looks most definitely like parrot, I would say even that, it looks like macaw."

Ellie smiled wildly, self-satisfied. "Because it is macaw. I think I did a good job with that." Dan smiled to Blair, she returned it to him. "But I have to complete it. Do you mind daddy?"

"No, of course no." He stroked her hair. 'Daddy' it's sounded so new, unfamiliar but he loved it. Loved it. He couldn't describe a feeling, but it was so good. And he wondered if he could get used to it someday. He hoped, he didn't.

"I can tell you stories meanwhile, if you want. So you could get to know me better." She said casually tilting over her work on the table. 'She is incredible.' he thought. 'And seemed to be unaffected by it all – sickness and his appearing – completely. Thank god!' He was worried, among other things, that she could be somehow damaged by this situation, but she was not, at all. Fortunately.

And she told. She described with details a lot of events, some funny experiences, and excited adventures, her trips with mom or grandparents in Paris, her room in grandpa's Harold house, what she liked the most, what she didn't like at all, why she hated strawberries and why she wasn't afraid of spiders anymore, and that she was in New York for the first time and that she liked it. Blair wasn't with them all the time, she excused herself couple times, or simply bustled in relatively big room, trying to not disturbed.

_**(x)  
(1)**__  
"Grandpa Roman got new puppy during Christmas, Chihuahua." Eileen giggled lightly. "When grandma Eleanor came at Christmas Eve she was complaining all day: 'what a crazy dog', 'who brought home that insane animal?'" She imitated Eleanor perfectly, both Dan and Blair chuckled on it. "So they called him Crazy."Girl continued._

"_And this is very accurate name, you must admit." Blair mentioned. Ellie nodded, agreeing. _

"_Yes, that true. Crazy is crazy. He is so small but he destroys and bites everything. Furniture, carpets, shoes, toys, even Handsome's bolster."_

"_And what Handsome about it?" Dan asked intrigued, remembering how peaceful and trouble-free the dog was. _

"_Eh, he noticed and was a little surprised because he walked around it couple times, but he is so lazy that he just lay down on a torn pillow anyway totally untouched. Mommy, on the other hand, lost her mind when she discovered that he bit her favorite black high heels." She looked at Blair, waiting for her reaction._

"_That was very valid reason to lose mind." She defended. "I will never forgive him that."_

"_And Holly." Ellie pointed._

"_And Holly." _

"_Yeah Crazy ripped my favorite doll, and mommy's favorite doll when she was little." She admitted sadly. _

"_Oh, I'm so sorry." He said soothingly._

"_It's fine. I still have Gustav." She showed him her plush hippo. _

"_Yeah. He is great." Dan touched toy's soft leg. 'But some things are_ _irreplaceable' He said in his mind. "Do you think he would want to meet Cedric?"_

"_Cedric?" Ellie asked excitedly interested._

"_Cedric is my favorite toy, when I was little. I would be honored, if you would want to take care of him." Blair watched him from the corner of her eye, truly touched, she was sure that Ellie would love Cedric like Holly, and poor Gustav had no chance in that competition._

"_Yes! I would. I want!" She enveloped him, like she was trying to convince him that she was saying true. Dan laughed. "Is it Cabbage Patch Kid like Holly?"She looked up at him._

"_Yes, he is." She beamed, content. 'His daughter prefers Cabbage Patch dolls, that must be __hereditary.' He thought. "I have a feeling that he will be in good hands. But remember you have to protect him from Crazy." He winked playfully._

"_Oh I will. But Crazy is better now. He attends dog__ behavioral therapy at dog's psycho-" She paused, attempting again. "Psychotherapist." Ellie said a word correctly this time, smirking lightly. Dan thought that she probably smells an absurd in the air._

"_What?! He attends what?"He laughed, half amused, half amazed. _

"_Dog__ behavioral therapy." Blair repeated calmly. "I know it sounds silly, but it's very effective. So stop laugh. Both of you." She pointed her finger at the giggling pair. And they stopped. "Surprisingly, it wasn't my idea. That was after New Year's Eve catastrophe with my mom's leather knee boots." She paused. "And if you think Dan that you saw furious Eleanor Waldorf-Rose before, you are wrong."_

_Ellie chuckled again at the memory. "She was sooo maaaaaad."_

_**(2)  
**__When Blair left them for a while. Eileen decided to show him photos. Her literal obsession. On the shelves were children' books and photo albums – five, massive albums filled solidly with huge number of pictures. Dan admired all of them __scrupulously and was really interesting in this. That was his daughter life, he wanted to know desperately what she was doing all this time, so he listen to her carefully – laughing, nodding, inquiring__. She clearly composed all pictures in frames on her own. This was her passion. She liked to move them, locate differently. But last album was almost completely empty. There were only several pictures – of his and his family. One picture with Dan as a baby, second with him around 10 in soccer jersey, one Humphrey family photo, and exactly four his present pictures. No sight of his life with Blair. Not a single wedding photograph, or from times before or after that day. He sighed deeply, but he oddly wasn't surprised. _

"_We have to fill this one together, daddy." She smiled at him. "We start from now. I want picture with you. Do you have your phone?"_

"_I have." He pull his smart phone out of his pocket. "And what now?" He asked holding a camera on._

"_Come here and take a picture, dad." She said, little annoyed by his slowly uptake. He clasped one arm around her when she snuggled in his chest, with the other hand he pressed a camera button. _

"_Now print it." She ordered. "We need to put it in the album." She saw that he had no idea what was she talking about. "Just connect with my printer." She said lightly. _

"_Connect? With your printer?" Eileen grabbed his three times bigger iPhone than her palm from his hand, she clicked few times and then he heard one long 'bip'. Second later the picture was ready and lay on mini printer on the desk behind him. He never thought about himself as a cybernetic illiterate, but he started to consider that possibility when his 4 years old daughter rolled her eyes on his inability in using Bluetooth._

"_Could you hand me it, please." She opened an album and chose a right frame. "It's really good picture." She admired it for a while._

"_Definitely the best. My favorite one."He wore the bright smile. _

"_My too… So this is my grandpa Rufus, right. He is a musician." She said pointed at an old picture._

"_Yes, yes." Dan replied, wondering how quickly children are able to change a topic. "Yes he is. And this is my mom, your grandma..."_

"_Allison, an artist."_

"_Yes." He smiled. "…and my sister Jenny, your aunt."_

"_Fashion designer like grandma Eleanor."_

"_Yes like grandma Eleanor."_

"_And I know what is your profession too."_

"_Hym, you do?" He asked __teasingly__._

"_Yes. You are a writer. You are an author of books." She said proudly._

"_You like books, hmm?"He pointed on the shelves._

"_Yes, a lot. Would you read to me later?" He nodded in response. "Is it hard to write a whole book?" She asked curiously._

"_Well it depends. Sometimes it's easier sometimes harder. One day I'm able to write a lot of things almost mechanically, the other I cannot write anything at all. It's like with painting, it's easy to draw a parrot but it's not that simple with monkey or giraffe for example. But with a little practice and time, monkey and giraffe isn't that difficult anymore."_

_She nodded understandably. "Mommy has all of your books and every new copy of your magazine."_

"_Really?" He asked truly surprised. "How do you know?"_

"_She has it all in her bedroom's nightstand. I read your name on it. We have the same though."_

_Dan moved unsurely, shooting a glance at Ellie. "You mean… What do you mean?"_

"_Humphrey. It's my last name, and mommy's, and yours. We are Humphrey's!"_

'_Wow' He thought. 'Blair didn't change her name back, yet.' He added. 'And she gave it to Ellie. Wow.' He was shocked. He pretended in front of Eileen that he knew, but he obviously didn't. He realized that honestly he knew nothing. _

"_Do you have their actual photos on you?"Ellie asked pointing back at the picture, getting him back to the reality._

"_Oh yeah, I should have some on my phone…" He scrolled on. "There isn't much."He grimaced apologizing. _

"_You don't look like siblings with aunty Jenny." She stated harmlessly looking at him them on the screen. "And grandpa looks the same, he hasn't changed, at all." She said a little disappointed, comparing pictures._

_He chuckled at that. "You have to tell him that. He annoys all of us, complaining that he is OLD." He accented jokingly._

"_I will tell, but I have to meet him first. When can I meet them?"_

"_Hm. I don't know. Whenever you want." _

"_Soon." She demanded._

"_Ok." He laughed. "I will see what I can do."_

"_So I have six grandparents now."_

"_Well even eight." He wasn't sure that he should bring a topic._

_She perked up her head. "No." She protested. "Granny Eleanor and granny Allison, granddaddies Harold, Roman, Cyrus and Rufus. It's six."_

"_Yeah, but my mom and my dad aren't together anymore. They have other partners. Like Eleanor and Harold." She seemed to understand. "You must add Lily and Jeff. It's eight then." He smiled at her._

_She concluded on second thought. "So they all are divorced?"_

"_Yhym."_

"_Is that mean that you and mommy are going to divorce either?"_

_She __took him off-guard. 'She knows that they are still married.' "No. I hope not." He replied awkwardly._

"_Me too."_

_**(x)**_

Nurse entered a room with medicaments, greeting politely everyone. "Hallo sweetie, how does our little patient feel today?"

"Suuuper good." Ellie replied honestly.

"Then I'm suuuper glad." The woman laughed lightly. "I hope the mood helps you with the not that super nice thing to do." She grimaced sympathetically.

"Please, no! Not these awful pills." She looked at Blair tearfully. "Mommy please no."

"Ellie honey, don't cry." She was on the verge of tears herself, being at her side at once. "I know it's awful but you have to take them." Blair said, sitting next to her.

"Can we crumble them? They are so big." Nurse shook her head no. Big, glossy tears ran on those chubby cheeks. Dan walked into the room with box which he left in the car in hands, his smile decreased immediately.

"Dan!"/"Dad!" Blair and Eileen cried in the same time, looking at him. They both were truly happy that he came back. "Look dad has your favorite macaroons." Blair said trying to distract a girl. "Two quick swallows, ok. And macaroons are yours." Blair gave her broken smile, ashamed because a bribe.

"All yours." Dan confirmed, opening a box. He didn't know what is going on yet.

"I'm scared that I will choke, like last time." She sniffed quietly.

"Hey. Remember when we were talking about practice." She nodded. "We must practice it out." He said after he poured water into two plastic cups. "All you have to do is drink it in one gulp. Fast. Watch me." He demonstrated, then pumping his cheeks like a hamster goggling wildly. She smiled lazily at the expression. "Try it, without a pill."

"But I don't get a face like yours after that."

"No." He laughed. And she did it, settled. "Good work. Now try it with the pill." The horror was back on her face. "Don't be scared. Trust me. Take a pill. Forget about it, then just drink water like before." He handed her a cup. All three women staring at him speechless. Eileen closed her eyes, buying into it, and did what he asked, obediently. "And?"

She smacked her mouth. "It's gone." She said eagerly. "It's gone!" Dan and Blair breathed a sigh of relief.

"See." Blair caressed her daughter's back. "One more time." Then the nurse checked her urine bag and catheter, asked few controlling question and said her goodbye. "You are the bravest girl you know. I'm so proud of you."

"It doesn't help me feel any better." She nuzzled into Blair. "This is torture." Dan's and Blair's eyes met. They didn't know if she implied to medicaments or to general sickness situation. "I want a nap." She said softly, silently. Blair just lulled her gently.

"Isn't there other way to give her those medicines?" He whispered to Blair. She looked at him puzzled. "I don't know in liquid instead pills or maybe even drip would be less stressed for her." He wondered.

"Do you suggest that I did nothing to prevent my child from suffer, only because I wasn't able to teach her how to swallow a pill." She returned into nasty attitude towards him completely out of the blue.

Dan sat up from Ellie's bed. "Blair." He muttered, rubbing his face helplessly. "You couldn't refrain yourself hyh." Always when he thought that everything between them began function in decent terms, she always turned it upside down. And they had to start everything all over again. "As I found your awry reasoning appealing sometimes I think it caused more damages than benefits during all these years." She huffed. "You know that was not my intention and it's obvious that you are doing everything perfectly. I'm just asking, trying to find solution. I'm here only couple hours, I do not know anything. But if you don't want to acquaint me with details, I will shut up, no worries. I know my place."

"Dan. It's not that…"

"You are angry with me. And it's not because my 'parenting skills' or lack of them." He looked out of the window. "I just hope I will find out someday, why our life is like it is."

Blair cleared her throat, dismissive that statement. "There is no liquid substitute to these particular drugs and I decided that we are not going to use drip because she is aching enough because of dialysis." She rolled up one of Ellie's sleeve delicately. "It's bruised and tumid. There is no place to insert a single needle." Dan nodded accepting an answer. 'Why she couldn't just say it from the start.' He wondered.

After a supper and bath time, Dan had to keep his word and read to Eileen. She chose _Father and Daughter Tales_. Like she said 'It was waiting for him.' That had to be very special book because as a bookmark was used his and Blair's wedding photo. 'That's why it wasn't in the album.' When he kissed her forehead goodbye, she gripped his t-shirt by a fist and asked, with closed eyes almost in sleep:

"Will you come tomorrow?"

"Of course. I will be here early in the morning."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Then she let him go. He improved her cover and kissed her forehead again. "Sweet dreams." He turned to Blair. "I have to go to the loft. Jen and dad are waiting for me. Like I said I will talk to them and I will be tomorrow for tests." She nodded. "And maybe we could arrange that I will stay with her at night, so you could rest at home."

"Thanks but no. I don't think I could rest in my mom's penthouse more than here."

"Ok. But if you change your mind… I'm going to stay here anyway." He declared unsure. She simply nodded, without objection.

.

.

.

Dan was physically and emotionally debilitated. When he left the building all strain and tenseness got him for the first time after all day pretending that he is cool and calm and clear-headed. Well he didn't pretend, he was calm and clear-headed or he thought he was. He just didn't have time to process it all, process it for real. He decided that he got to Brooklyn by taxi, driving a car in that state of mind wouldn't be the smartest decision.

Dan heard his dad and sister laugh from a staircase. He sighed heavily and opened a door tiredly. "Hallo to you mister latecomer." Rufus said mockingly, sipping his cocoa. "What a nice surprise."

"Oh dad, he is a bigwig now. He has no time for commoners anymore." Jenny explained with a tease, swinging on the stool. "We have to send a special petition, then waiting for an official audience for commons, if he considers our request positively, of course." Dan ignored them and sat on the sofa, leaning back, laying his head on the backrest, exhaling long.

"Hard day at work, hyh. But relax, waffles and board games are ready." He blinked. "We are here to celebrate your promotion. Remember?"

Dan shook his head. "I wasn't at work today. And there is nothing to celebrate."

"Why?" Rufus asked, alertly.

"You got fired a week after promotion?!" Jenny teased, faking amazement. "This is new Humphrey record." Rufus chuckled, couldn't control himself. "We still can get drunk using your birthday as an excuse." She smirked. They both saw that he wasn't in the mood for jokes. Jen approached to him and sat on a coffee table in front of him, offering a mug with cocoa. He didn't take it, just closed his eyes, he was exhausted. "Dan?" She shook his knee. "Dan what's up?"

Dan exhaled loudly again, not changing his position. "Blair called me this morning."

"What!" Both Rufus and Jenny called out. Rufus rushed to them from behind a kitchen counter, and moved an armchair closer to Jenny. "What did she want?" She asked angrily.

"She asked for a meeting."

"The fucking nerve of the girl, after all this time." She mumbled under her breath.

"Jennifer." Rufus warned her.

"And you are going to meet her?" She asked, hoping he wasn't.

"I met her already." He replied still looking on a ceiling.

She sighed hopelessly. "Dan, why do you do this to yourself?" She waved her hand on his posture. "Putting you in misery is her destination, she is doing it and will do it again and again and it never changes." She tried to reason. "I swear I will hurt her the second I see her." She said turning to Rufus.

"Jenny, stop. Please calm down. This is no time for that." Rufus said concerned about his son's current behavior. "Did she say something… explain things, herself?"

Jenny pouted and crossed arms waiting for Dan's response. "No. She didn't want to talk about the past, even about divorce." He said quietly, bowing down and resisting elbows on his laps. "She informed me that she has a daughter." He said outright, playing with his fingers.

"Wow. That woman is really subtle." She shook her head impressed. "There is nothing much to say then. Just sign those papers, break free, move on. Everything will be ok, I promise." She patted his arm encouragingly. "And this is time to open wine." She clapped her hands, standing up.

"Sit down Jen." Rufus ordered annoyed by her insensibility. Dan seemed to be unfazed by her attitude at all. "She said something else I supposed."

"That she is here to ask me, well us..." He pointed at all three of them. "…for help." Jenny huffed sneeringly at that. "The girl needs kidney transplant. She asked if we could do tests as the potential donors and maybe decide on family transplant."

"…"

"Dan, this means that…" Rufus broke a silence.

"Yes dad, this means that I'm Blair's daughter father. Eileen's." He added softly.

Rufus sank deeper in the armchair. Jenny stood up and went directly to the kitchen where the wine bottle stood, taking full gulp from it. "So she might be quite big." Rufus said absently.

"Yeah she turned 4 in February." He repeated Blair's words. "I can't even say precisely when." He laughed bitterly. "I don't know her middle name. I don't know _her_ basically. I'm so pissed off, but in the same time I'm not. In the morning I didn't know that she exists. And now I'm the father." He paused. "I'm the actual father of fatally ill, four years old, fabulous girl, who on the other hand seems to know me quite well."

"You saw her?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah. I spent all day with her in the hospital. Well she was waiting for me and received me with open arms, literally. Everything was so quick. I couldn't have time to think what this all truly means." He shook his head. "I was aware of her situation, but only when I saw her struggle with medicines, dialysis, catheter, injections…" He trailed off. "Adults wouldn't deal with it as well as her. She is so brave and uncomplaining during all of this."

"What are you going to do?"

"Well I don't know exactly what are you asking about but right now I'm gonna focus on Ellie. She is in the foreground. So tomorrow I have tests appointment and I hope the results confirm that my kidney will be good enough for transplant."

"Dan son, this is serious decision, are you sure about that, I mean do not do anything on impulse, it's your health your life Dan."

"Dad it's not impulse. I know what I'm doing. I know what it means to me and to her. To her dad. It will save her life, her life."

"I understand that son, but I'm worried about you. That you are not thinking straight here, or that you are feeling an odd obligation or blame or responsibility."

"It's not that dad. Would you think twice if that were Jenny or me?" He asked rhetorically. "I would do it for you, for mom, for Jenny without discussion. And after two seconds with Eileen I knew that I can't imagine my life without her. She is…" He smiled wide at a mention of her. "She is incredible guys. And this is so obvious that she is a Humphrey." He laughed lightly. "She so cheerful and funny and creative and smart, really, really smart." He stressed. "So bright you have no idea. And loving and outspoken and talkative. Oh yeah she is talking and talking, describing and telling stories or some events or just something and I could only sit there and listen to her, and never want her to stop." Jenny and Rufus shared weak smiles, at how enamored Dan already was. "And she is so mature, so scarily mature as her age." He sighed. "And she is so beautiful. I swear when I saw her I thought that was baby Jenny only in dark, long curls."

"I know you are doing right thing, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm scared of you." He sighed. Then he asked timidly. "And there is any chance that we can meet that pretty lady anytime soon."

"Well she is waiting for grandpa Rufus who looks the same like 25 years ago and aunty Jenny who isn't similar to me." They looked at him blankly. "Her words." Dan shrugged his shoulders.

"Really she said that?" Rufus asked, excitingly.

"Yep. Sorry, but I should call to mom and maybe go to bed, I'm really tired. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not." They both stood up from their sits.

"I want just ask you, both of you that…" He stopped. "If it couldn't be me, would you do those tests, only tests, you don't have to decide anything. We just want to make sure that we checked very option. You know… just think about it." He kissed Jenny's temple. "Night Jen. Night dad." She waved to Rufus. And walked away to his old room.

"I don't know what to say. This is so unfair. All of it." Jenny muttered after some silent time. "This is big dad. This is huge thing to make it. Sudden fatherhood… to sick child, encounter with Blair. You think he will handle it."

"I have no doubts in that. He is strong, They will pass Eileen's sickness. I'm sure she will be fine. He is determined to help her. I'm more afraid about their relationship." He said hugging his daughter gently.

"What do you mean? Their marriage doesn't exist anyway, she left him for no reason, without explanation. She hid from him. Nobody knew where she was. That is itself unforgivable. And now when we know that she did it being pregnant."

"He loves her Jen. He still loves her. All this years he hasn't seen with anyone, because he loves her and hopes for reunion or just closure to move on. I still cheer them on, despite a lag and all this mess. They are matching Jenny. They are made for each other, they clicked on every level like very few, that bond is very rare. I hope they find themselves again."

"Really dad?" She asked softly.

"Yes really. But I'm afraid hiding a child doesn't help. When I found out about Scott before a wedding with Lily, I wasn't sure I know a woman who stands in front of me anymore. I was ready to quit and not turning back."

"But you didn't."

"Yeah thanks to Scott, I guess."

"I can't believe I'm saying it but maybe her condition helps them, you know they focus on her, forget about trifles, learn what is really important and see how much time they wasted already. And maybe they will figure it out. Maybe she will bring them closer."

"I really hope that. It's time to bed. Hard days wait ahead us."

.

.

.

Cedric and photo albums were prepared on the nightstand. Dan was lying flat on his still made, old bed, with lanced hands on his stomach and crossed ankles, when he heard someone was opening his bedroom doors noiselessly.

"Dan, are you sleeping?" Jenny whispered hopefully.

"No."

"Yhm, can I sleep with you?" She asked shyly.

"Well I don't think it's socially or legally acceptable considering the facts that I am your brother and we are over thirty."

"Shut up." She called out, climbing on the bed, hitting him with her pillow. "First of all I have my own pillow and cover, second of all I am not over thirty, yet. Speak for yourself." She was already cuddled comfy on her side of the bed. She was laying on her right side, studying his preoccupied profile. "I want to go with you doing those tests. And if I will be qualified as a donor a will go for surgery." He turned to her concerned. "Don't ask me if I'm sure. I am sure, I am decided, and nothing will change my mind." He just squeezed her hand. "And I would like to meet my niece who seems to be as cool as me according what you said earlier." She said playfully.

"You are cool Jen." He said seriously. "You are all these things and more. You are my everything." He took her palm in between his.

"I will always be here, Dan. For you. You can count on me, no matter what. You know that."

"I know. You can count on me, too. No matter what." He shook her hand, affirmably.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Then Dan heard someone was opening a bedroom's doors noiselessly, again.

"Can I sleep with you guys?" Rufus asked hesitantly.

"You are disgusting dad." He heard Jenny's voice.

"Not in the bed. On spare mattress, and I have my own pillow and cover." He paused, approaching to the mattress, which was standing temporally at the wall. "I talked with Lilly. She spoke with Doctor Peterson and he told that I'm not too old…" Dan and Jenny rolled their eyes in the darkness. "…for eventual operation so I'm going with you doing those tests."

"Really dad?"

"Of course. And I had phone call with mom, you know to discuss this, and she will do it too. She will come Sunday afternoon."

"Thank you, it means a lot to me."

"It doesn't mean that we stopped worrying about you." He stated, adamantly, then sighed. "Lilly and Allison are really excited about their well first grandchild. Quite unexpected and relatively big but very welcomed grandchild." Dan smiled a bit. "Do you think we can meet her, soon?"

"It shouldn't be a problem. She is waiting for you. I told you."

"Good. Good." Rufus nodded, pushing mattress on the ground with the bump.

Dan and Jenny flinched at the sound. "As a grandpa you are quite vivid." She said with a mock. Dan freed a small chuckle.

"Yes, I'm half century old grandpa, and I must say that I'm completely fine with that." He replied confidently, covering himself with a quilt. "I love you kids."

"Yeah, yeah." Jenny said curtly.

"Is is really all what you can offer to old, supportive father."

"You are not old!" They both replied in union. "And we do love you, very much."

.

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.

TBC

* * *

Clarification:  
1. Medical problem brought up in the story (kidney transplant and renal failure) Please DO NOT take this story as a valid source of information. I'm not writing volubly in there about symptoms, process etc. But despite it, I feel obliged to tell you that I studied the topic and it's impossible to have transplant that quickly as it is in this story. This is a lot more complicated procedure on every possible level. I just adapted facts to this story. So please do not focus on it.

2. Maturity of 4 years old child I know that you can doubt in that. But Eileen is not a prototype ;) That character is based on real kid. You just have to believe me on word that it is possible. Girl like her exists, for real. :):)


	2. Chapter 2

**AN. Thank you so much for your reviews, kind words and time. I really didn't expect them. This is very nice surprised for me. This fic was planned as one shot but it unintentionally grew bigger.**

**I'm not sure that I portraited them exactly like I wanted in this chapter but... well whatever. I decided to post it like this despite it. Sorry if it doesn't meet your expactations.**

**I planned also include here DB confronting scene, but it will be in the next chapter.**

**All mistakes mine. Characters not mine.**

* * *

**Eileen (Part 2)**

Next week passed eventless. In brief:

Tests ran quite smooth.

Cedric stole Eileen's heart.

Eileen stole Humphreys' hearts.

Lily adored her.

Jenny and Eric fell in love with her in a heartbeat.

Rufus as Rufus was head over heels in love with her the second she called him grandpa at the greeting.

Dan asked Blair for an acceptance of his family visit and advised Ellie about who and when wanted to visit her. Despite her excitement about meeting new family members, Dan knew that sudden visiting of that big group of people could be overwhelming for her; he wanted to prevent her from that.

But when the gang came to her for the first time, she seemed to be nothing less than happy. She prepared all her albums plus those that Dan brought for her, and 'forced' all of them to watch old and new pictures, took new ones, and answer all questions she had. She reprimanded Rufus why he didn't bring his guitar, and required him to go home for it. That he didn't had to go back all the way to penthouse, Lily proposed to call Eric, who was in New York for awhile, to bring it. Mysterious Eric and then suggestion that he was her uncle made Ellie only craved for his coming. Eric's confusion why on Earth he should bring a guitar to the transplant clinic was quickly replaced by shock when he met Dan's, and Blair's for that matter, daughter. Their very sick daughter, as a person who they created _together_. He couldn't recover from it for a really long time.

Dan moved in to the hospital basically. He had to go back to work, so he wasn't all day with Ellie. He came back from work straight to the clinic early or late afternoon, if something stopped him at the office, but usually he arrived between 4 and 5.30. He stayed at nights and left in the morning but never missed his goodbye with the girl. During Dan's absence always someone from Humphrey family was with Ellie. They didn't set it, it just happened unintentionally.

On Friday, a week later, Dan walked out from an elevator in blue jeans, grey V t-shirt, unzipped black hoodie and black converse, with a smile on his face, coffee in a hand and leather bag overhanging on his arm.

"Hallo Judie. How is your first day at work?" He greeted happily teenage intern from Nursery High School, who was waiting for the lift with tray with medicaments.

"Thank you Mr. Humphrey, pretty good so far." Girl blushed a little and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously, stepping into the elevator.

"I'm glad then, good luck with your internship."

"Thank you Mr. Humphrey."

Dan turned around and went in direction of Ellie's room. "Oh hello Sally." He greeted head nurse who was closing sanitary room, holding pile of towels. "Let me help you." He grabbed towels and escorting a woman to the elevator. "How was your daughter's wedding? Wednesday is quite unusual day for it." He asked trying to hold a conversation.

"Oh yeah. This was the first wedding in the middle of the week where I was." She chuckled. "It was perfect. After all this stress with planning, everything was like they wanted. Now they are on their honeymoon in Miami. They decided on relaxing under the palm and sunbathing."

"And this is very good way of spending a vacation." He replied genuinely, pushing an elevator's button.

"And how was your honeymoon? It was a while ago hym considering how big Ellie is?"

He grunted awkwardly. "Yhm, almost 6 years ago." The woman nodded, clearly waiting for the rest of an answer. "Well we are not sunbathers, so we decided on adventure. We were in Peru on trips from place to place. We were there for sightseeing as much as we could. You know The Incas, Machu Picchu, Nazca Lines, Colca Canyon, Titicaca Lake…" He trailed off. "A lot of exhausting travelling but really worth it."

"Mrs. Blair and climbing the mountains, who would've thought." She said awestruck but not in mean way. Dan wanted to defend her, but he decided to leave it unsaid. "I checked on Ellie." She changed a topic. "She is fine. She took her pills and continues playing with granddad."

"Thank you Sally. You are taking great care of her."

"She is adorable, I can have granddaughter like her even today." She said light-heartedly.

"Well you must wait for a little bit longer because I'm not going to give her to you, never." He said playfully. He handed her towels when elevator's door was open. "See you later Sal."

"Goodbye Mr. Humphrey."

He had one more stop in front of dialysis room, where he spotted Thomas and his mother.

"Hi Thomas." He highfived ten years old boy on a wheelchair, who was struggling with renal failure like Ellie. "Hallo Julien." He kissed her cheek in greeting. "I have something for you." He turned to a boy, looking for something in his bag. "When we were talking last time you said that you are a soccer fan. As it happens I'm too. So here you go, I brought for you my old cards with soccer players, mostly from Europe, Spain, England you know the best soccer leagues. They are almost relics." He winked at him. "It's all yours, you can do whatever you want with them."

"Thank you Dan."

"Thomas!" The woman chastened a boy.

"It's okay. We are buddies." Dan said messing with boy's hair. "Go. Add it to your collection."

"You really don't have to do this."

"Please, that just the cards." He paused. "Is there any progression in his case?"

"Well unfortunately no." She sighed. "We will have to spend a lot o time here. Matched kidney doesn't appear any time soon. What about Ellie?"

"Well we are still waiting for mine and my sister's tests results. We are good hope."

"Everything will be fine." She said consolingly, but they both sighed knowing that with this sickness nothing was for sure. "Oh sorry I almost forgot to tell you. Your dad gave a concert for children in recreation room this morning." She giggled.

"Oh my god, no. I'm so sorry. That must be awful." He grimaced. "I will talk to him."

"No is no that. It was good. Kids were super happy and had some fun. It was Eileen's initiative actually."

"Of course it was." Dan said not really surprised. "He is doing everything what she claims. I have to talk with him about it too."

"She is adorable." It's a fifth time he heard it. Three other was from his co-workers when they saw her picture in Dan's office. "And big-hearted. She just wanted to share her 'grandpa private concerts' for her with other kids." Dan narrowed his eyes at the woman. "Her words. She is very poetic." She laughed lightly.

"Something she had to take after me." He said proudly, then laughed. "Okay I need to go to my little muse. Greet Will from me."

"Ok. And thank your dad for today." He nodded.

It was very easy for Dan to bonding with people around a hospital. No matter who that was nurse, doctor or other parent. He was open, familiar and approachable. Blair on the other hand was reserved and more distant for other people. She was polite, and was treated politely, she also didn't have problems with chatting with other moms but they acted around her like she was above them. Her Chanel bag and Prada dress in comparison with Julien's leggings, oversized, washed-out t-shirt and sneakers was taken as something 'above'. It's last season bag and she wore that dress twice this week, it was scruffy as a Blair's standards, but for others these were still Chanel and Prada. She really didn't think she was better than them, she was simply little sad that they were that small-minded, and judged her and her maternity faculty by what she was wearing. Then she bit her lips, reminding about old herself, and push that thought aside, she was not here to making friends after all.

Dan approached closer to Eileen's room and saw Blair. She was sitting on the sofa in the hallway in front of their daughter's room. She got frustrated, irritated and angry mostly at herself the minute she saw him stepping out of an elevator. 'How dare he?!' She thought. 'Striding around the place like he owned this country. Ravishing every women on the way from student nurse who was blushing on purple and middle age staff nurse who was glowing for age same super mom super glad and her son. Did he really kiss her? And highfiving 10 years old boy. And this ridicules hoodie jacket. Who over thirty is wearing a hoodie, for god's sake? (Well Dan Humphrey is wearing it and looks fantastic). And that stubble. Oh god that stubble. No, no, no. I'm angry with him. Asshole. I don't want to have anything to do with him. I hate him. I should distress myself. My daughter is sick. I need to focus on her. I don't want to make out with him in that elevator. I don't want to! (!) I'm horrible mother. The last thing I want to be kissing him passionately and digging my fingers in that perfect curls. Perfect? Disgusting! Or maybe not? No. Yes. Smug smile hyh. Asshole. Think straight! Eileen. Eileen. Eileen.'

"Why are you sitting here, alone?" He asked with concern, sincerely. "What is going on?"

"Nothing. Humphrey clan occupies the room." She replied snidely. "Nobody wants me there anyway." She shrugged, covering her knees by a dress.

He frowned. "Yeah Eileen doesn't want you, yhy." He said sarcastically. "Blair please." She glared at him. "And I really don't think that my dad kicked you out." He added sipping his coffee.

She turned her head even more irritated. "Lily and Rufus are just nodding at me politely at greeting, faking their smiles, your sister is eyeing me with disgust, and even Eric isn't speaking to me. They all ignore me along with my daughter. I can't see a difference between this and showing me the door."

"Ellie is not ignoring you." He assured her adamantly. "Even if she is… it's temporary." He laughed a bit, Blair just clenched her jaw. "Blair come on, she is not interested in me either. She just met them and just enjoying it. In the end of the day you are the only person she wants to be with. I think they are good for her, distracting her…"

"How can you know what is good for her. You are only for a week here." She bit her lower lip regretting the words in a second she said them.

Every time when Dan wanted to console her, or was kind to her, Blair gave him nothing more than coldness and roughness in return.

"Well you can't blame me for that." He threw an empty cup into a trashcan forcefully. "Are you angry because you are not in center of her attention or that she stole your spotlight?"

She looked up at him opening her mouth with disbelieve. "Don't be delirious." She snored instantly.

"Honestly Blair you are completely aware why they are acting around you like this. I, on the other hand, have no idea why Eleanor is refusing to shake my hand, and is looking at me like at the degenerate, with huge desire to spit on my dead body." He said as calmly as he could.

"As always Dan Humphrey poor victim." She retorted dramatically rising her hands. "They look at me like I am cruel bitch who hurt innocent you, but I'm not offender here! You caused all of this and you know it and have no decently even telling the true to your own family." She said with wavering voice, tears dropped on the floor before she could catch them.

He frowned. "What are you talking about?" He took a step back shocked.

"You know what I am talking about perfectly." She glowered at him, shaking her head at how good he acted his disorientation.

"Actually I am not. What true? Tell me!" He leaned towards her. "Tell me now!" He tried to not disturb hospital's silence by shouting.

"I've seen you! I saw everything. I know your little secret." She screamed in anger through tears.

"What secret for fuck sake? What have you seen?" He yelled back running his hands over back of his head, powerlessly. "Clue me in on this!"

"Ykhm." Jenny cleared her throat approaching to the pair, nudging Dan's arm gently. "I'm sorry that I'm interrupting this lovely chatting of yours, but Doctor Simpson wants to see you, both of you." She added, giving Blair a baleful look. Dan sighed heavily, angrily. "It's about tests results." She added nervously. Blair stood up quickly, hurried in doctor's office direction.

Dan's attention was immediately distracted, and focused on the major topic. "Let's go then." He grabbed Jenny's hand and went after Blair.

.

.

.

"Hallo Dr Simpson." Blair said, peeking in shyly. "You want to see us."

"Oh yes. Hallo Blair. Please come in." Blair opened the door wider. Jenny and Dan walked in too.

"Good afternoon."

"Hallo Dan, Jenny. Please sit down."

"Please tell us that you have good news." Dan asked impatiently, hopefully. Blair fidgeted on her chair, gripping her purse harder.

"Well what about great news." Doctor said smiling at them, pulling his eyes away from the papers. All three of them looked at him wordless, waiting for his continuation. "It seems that you can be donors, both of you." He said, looking at Dan then at Jenny.

Dan, who was standing behind the girls, bending over, losing huge amount of relief. "Ok. Ok. Great." He ran his hand over his forehead, smiling dazedly, happily. "I'm ready. We can start preparation for surgery even right now."

Doctor smiled genuinely. "I know that you are. But it's not that simple."

They all became concern at once.

"What do you mean? Her condition gets worse? She looks fine. I…" Blair trailed off.

"No Blair. Don't worry. She is ok. We are preparing her for the transplant from the beginning so she can be put on operating table even today."

"So what is the problem?" Dan asked having trouble with understanding. "I can be put there today too." He said with obvious manner.

Doctor laughed a little. "As I said you both can be donors. That means that you both have very little almost none intrusive cells so called antibodies, but Jenny has them the least."

Dan and Blair looked at Jenny then at doctor. Jenny grunted, trying to get some attention. "In short with my kidney is more likely that the transplant will be accepted."

"It's big probability in both cases, but yes it's true. But you know that I can't guarantee you anything. Sometimes even perfect organs are rejected."

"Yes we know that of course. But I will do it." Jenny said confidently.

"Jenny you don't have to…"

"Dan I told you, I will do it. There is no way that I will change my mind. It's the best option though."

He enveloped his arms around his sister, kissing a top of her head. "Thank you." He whispered. Jenny grabbed his palms and falling into a touch. Blair dropped her eyed down, touched and relieved, and equally feeling uneasy by their spontaneous gesture. Her longing was unmistakable.

She patted his hand when he pulled away. "You have to keep your kidney in good condition anyway." She joked. "Right doctor?"

"Right Dan." Doctor smiled but replied seriously. "It can be necessary anytime. So just in case…"

"I know. I know." Dan paused. "Oh God I can believe it." He muttered absently to himself.

"So we are going to prepare you as soon as possible. We have to undergo more specific tests also psychological." He warned.

"I understand all of it. I'm ready. I can stay here even now."

"Ok then. I will run tests for you and instruct nurse to find you a room. But Blair, Dan remember we have to accustom and adjust Eileen to this very carefully. You have to talk to her, explain everything. She is smart and she already know a lot but it can be traumatic anyway and she can have trouble with assimilate with this." They nodded understandably. "I will come later to her with child psychologist. Prevention is important here."

"Thank you." They said and walked out the office.

In the corridor Dan wrapped his arm around Jenny and headed to Ellie's room. Blair stood frozen in the middle of the hallway. Dan stopped his walk and turned around. "Blair are you coming?"

She cleared her throat. "Yeah I will come in a minute." He nodded, Jenny didn't even bother to slow her pace.

.

.

.

When Dan entered a room he saw Ellie with crossed arms, pouted lips and clearly frowning look aimed in his direction.

"You are late. Where have you been?" She asked gloweringly.

He would find it adorable and even funny if it wouldn't have been so serious. "Yes I know. I'm sorry. Mommy and I were meeting Doctor Simpson." Rufus and Lily who were sitting beside girl's bed turned their sudden worried attention into Dan. "Could you please leave us alone for a moment, Jenny is outside and will explain everything to you, ok."

"Of course." They rose on their feet and walked out a room.

Blair sat on Ellie's bed. Dan moved his armchair closer to the girl. "What is going on?" Ellie asked confused. "You look weird." She narrowed her eyes at Blair then at Dan suspiciously. "I have so many things to tell you daddy. And you are not coming on time." She complained.

"I'm sorry. It will never happen again ok. But I told you we were with your doctor."

"Is that meant that he has news about me?" She asked Blair.

"Yes." Blair answered. "Remember when I told you about your illness…"

She nodded, remembering perfectly. "Yes. That I have unhealthy kidneys which are similar in a shape with beans seeds. And that I need someone who would want to share with me one of his, but in must be exactly like mine. Like an element in the puzzle. And when everything would go according to plan I will be ok."

"Yes. That true. So it emerged that aunty Jenny has the same kidney, and she want to share it with you." Blair smiled weakly.

"Really?" Ellie asked tuning her head to Dan.

"Yes really." He smiled.

"So soon I wouldn't need tubes and pills and hospital?"

"Yeah if everything will go fine. Yes. But some pills you would have to take anyway."

She nodded. "I'm going to have an operation." Eileen stated. "But aunt Jenny… Can she have only one kidney? Is that Ok?"

"Yes. She has healthy kidneys. And people can live with only one. Everything will be ok."

It's hard to have a conversation about that serious topic with that little child. They were aware that nothing could be ok. Dan wasn't sure he knew what to say, how to explain things. But it seemed that Ellie did all work for them. She was calm and uncurious, which was somehow odd.

"Do you have more questions? Do you want to know something more?" Dan asked alarmed by her lack of interest.

"I know everything. During surgery I will be sleep and feel nothing. They will cut my stomach a bit, then they put good kidney next to old one and consist everything in a way that it will work." Dan was little more than shocked, leaning back, catching Blair's eyes. "I have a book." She shrugged.

"She has a book." It was all Blair could say, knowing that they were dealing with intellectual monster.

"Can we talk finally about today's events?" She asked impatiently.

"Yes we can." Blair smiled smoothing her daughter's hair. The girl clapped her hands and started to talk.

"Grandpa Rufus…"

Dan wasn't sure it was good that his daughter wasn't as 'childish child' as she should be probably. He had an impression that Blair had the same worry. But that was her personality already – reality and circumstances molded that personality maybe a little bit sooner. One thing they could and should do was giving her opportunity to lead peaceful and happy childhood, soothing her worries, listening her reflections, helping her with steady development, not limiting her potential. 'Balance.' He thought. 'We all need balance.'

.

.

.

Dan knocked gently and opened the door of Jenny's hospital room. "Hey."

"Hey." She smiled at him, closing her laptop.

"Shouldn't you rest?" He frowned smirking at her.

"I am resting. I'm just checking my finished designs." She replied, putting a computer aside.

"And improving them?"

"Maybe a little." She pulled out her tongue playfully, faking annoyance.

He sat down on the end of her bed petting her legs through her blanket. "How are you?"

"I'm great." She said easily. "How are you?"

He sighed lowering his eyes. "It's not about me."

"It's all about you Dan." Jenny paused, watching him carefully. "How are you? I wanna know exactly, how are you?" She stressed.

He looked at her with glazed eyes. "Well I'm petrified. Of you, of Eileen. That something will go wrong. That transplant will be rejected or you would have complication. I really prefer to be in this bed instead you."

She grabbed his hand, shaking it a little. "I'm telling you. Everything will be all right. Trust me. Operation will succeed. She will have whole life ahead. Healthy, joyful life. And I have a feeling that I will be fine too, a bad thing never dies, right." She winked.

He shook his head disapproving her joke. "How you can be so sure. There are so many possibilities… rejection, return of affliction, post-operative complication..."

"But there are so many successful processes too. Statistics are more than promising Dan, you know that though. Thousands of families live happily after transplants right now."

"Even so. There is a chance on… I don't know… 10 stable years for her, it's maximum."

"Dan you are going from one extreme to the other. You are worrying about that, couple days before surgery. Really?"

"It's complex problem. I can't help it."

"I know that you like worrying, it's your hobby." He furrowed his eyebrows. "With that huge level of histocompatibility she will live stable around 30 years, and when it gets worse there is your kidney on tap, and then another 30 years ahead." He sighed heavily, nodding half-hearted.

She leaned back on the headboard. "Annnd…"

He raised his eyes at her confused. "And what?"

"I more interested in situation between you and your wife." She said that purposely.

Dan exhaled loudly. "It's bad and getting worse…" He looked blankly at the window. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well you have to. Because you can live like that. What is this anyway? Grass widowhood? You must do something about that." She bade. He didn't react. "What do you want?" He didn't answer. "Dan tell me what do you want?"

"I want Eileen to be healthy and happy…"

"Except that." She interrupted, detecting his attempt to avoid the subject. "I'm not asking about that."

"At this moment I want to know why she left me. And why she lingered for so long with telling me about Eileen. That's all I want."

"Then ask her." She stated shrugging her shoulders at the obviousness.

He laughed bitterly. "Jen, she is unnaturally polite to me in front of Ellie, very formal in front of other people. Every our talk, even when I just started conversation with simple 'It's going to rain.' ends arguing and yelling and blaming me..."

"You?!" Jenny interrupted surprised.

"She… she is so angry with me. She repeatedly insinuates that I did something to her, that it's my fault that she left, that I gave her a reason, but in the same time she doesn't want to tell me what it is because I supposed to know it." He sighed tiredly, running his hand over a back of his neck. "This is vicious circle."

"Ok. This is Blair, so I wouldn't expect much anyway…" She reasoned. "Assume that you will find out that… what next? Do you still love her? Do you want to be with her?"

"This is not about my feelings Jenny."

"No Dan, this all is about your feelings, about you. You are dad who struggle with his daughter serious illness, and with marital problems, but everybody seems to forget about it including you… I am here for you, I told you that. I want you to help you, resolving all of this." She paused. "It's obvious that you still love her, and I repeating myself but what are you gonna to do with it?"

He didn't even trying to deny his feeling to Blair. "Jenny, it really doesn't matter what I feel… Maybe she left me for someone else. Maybe she met someone meanwhile, it's been 5 years. I can't know that."

"Do you see someone else here?" She pointed out at once.

"No. But it doesn't mean that she hasn't anyone… The point is I will give her divorce." He stated affirmatively.

"Without a fight. Just like that."

"I fought before. I'm fighting now. I'm trying to make it all up for her, for us, for Ellie. But she clearly doesn't want it, doesn't want me. She left for me nothing more than contempt and hatred, this is all she feels. It's time to back down, and start to live again."

"What about Eileen?"

"Well this is about Eileen." He accented. "She needs peace. She needs parents who are civil around each other. If legal ending of this marriage helps with that, I will do it. And divorce should be formality, I don't want anything. And with sharing custody of Eileen shouldn't be problem either."

"You are giving up." She said solemnly, disapprovingly.

"There is nothing I can do anymore. I'm simply tired, and I'm not ashamed of that. I love her but apparently it's not enough." He paused. "Why you encouraging me to that anyway, hyh?" He asked curiously.

She dismissed his question. "Promise me that you try to talk to her before surgery one last time. It's your sister's last, deathbed's wish."

"I really don't like these jokes. Stop them." He wagged his finger at her. "Maybe I will. But you have to promise me that you try to be nicer to Blair. She is mom who struggle with serious illness of her daughter." He reminded her, her own words. "You can see how miserable she looks. It's hard time for her." He trailed off. "You were on friendly terms before. And I'm not asking for that. I'm just asking for decent attitude towards her. Please."

"Do you see what you are doing? You are making it easy for her. Despite that she is hurting you verbally and her behavior leaves a lot to be desired, you are taking care of her fettle of her health, of her in general." He dropped his gaze. "Please figure it out. I really hope it doesn't end like you outlined it."

Yes he really hoped it too. But it seemed to be inevitable. Divorce. "Bye Jen. See you tomorrow." He kissed her cheek and headed to the door.

.

.

.

Room was lightened only by a small lamp on the nightstand. Jenny was sitting in her bed in plaid, flannel pajama and working on her new sketches. It was 10 to midnight when she heard mild knocking.

"It's opened." She said not expecting anyone. "Oh." She tried to stop discontent grimace at the person who walked diffidently in.

"Ykhm." Blair coughed a bit. "Hallo Jennifer." She held her head high.

"Hallo Blair." Jenny replied with the same amount of formality.

"Can I come in?" Blair asked still holding a door knob. Jenny nodded carelessly. Blair made several steps in. "I want to thank you." She said uneasily but heartfelt, meaning it.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm not doing it for you and nobody forces me to do it." Jenny said not even looking at Blair still holding her pencil and sketchbook on her laps.

Blair sighed expecting her reaction. "I know that you are not doing it for me, directly leastwise. But you are helping my daughter and I would never thank enough for that." Her voice cracked.

Jenny squinted her eyes. "It's my brother's daughter too." She replied straight. "It's natural to help family and I likely have that opportunity." She didn't stop drawing.

Blair stood in the middle of the room, uncomfortably. "Anyway I want to assure you that if I can do anything, anytime for you, you can rely on me, always. I'm eternally grateful for what you are doing for Ellie and thereby for me. Thank you again." She paused. "It's late so I'm better going. Good night Jennifer." She headed to the door.

"Blair." Jenny called out. "Can I ask you a question?" Blair turned around and nodded. "I promise this will stay between us, just answer honestly…" Blair got tense knowing this couldn't be good. "Did you leave Dan for someone else?"

Blair mouth fell open. "I beg your pardon?!" She said feeling insulted.

"By someone else I mean Charles Bass." She clarified calmly.

"WHAT?! I was never more offended in my entire life!" She headed to the door rapidly.

"Answer the question Blair."

"Of course not!" Tears clouded her eyes. "Do the people really think that less about me?" She asked not wanting to know the answer. She sat down on the armchair next to door shattered.

"You can't blame them, I think…" Dead silence fell in the room, disturbed only by Blair's quick sniffs. Jenny finally stopped working on her project. She peered at her for a long time without saying a word. "Blair what do you want? Right now. What do you really want?"

She looked slightly confused, then rubbed under her eyes and took deep breath. "I want…" She paused. "I want Eileen to be healthy and happy. I don't want her to suffer in pain physically and mentally anymore because of these kidneys… and other things too. I want peace and joy for her, life free of worry and hurt." She trailed off. "I want her to be complete opposite to me in her teenage years, and I want better life for her than mine, in general. That's all I want."

"What do you mean by that actually?" She asked intrigued.

She sighed. "My biggest fear, except unsuccessful transplant of course, is that she will become me because I fail as a parent." She wept a little. "I was so young and so lost, so angry and lonely too. I was still a child back then… Teenage girl. What I knew about life." She shifted on her armchair looking on the floor. "I had no one who wants to help me, who was interested in me who would take care of me as much as I needed it. And I'm thinking here about my parents. They are good people and great grandparents, oh irony…" She said sadly. "And I can't blame them for my mistakes. I'm fully responsible for them, but after that time, and now having a child on my own I know that all what children need is theirs parents love, presence, attention and time. Not money or expensive things. If I would have had that maybe I wouldn't hurt myself that much. I want her to be happy, I want to make her happy, I want to be the source of her happiness not obstacle or trigger, which taking it away from her. I want her to choose wisely her friends and people around her. I want her to treat people well and be treated well by them. I want them to fulfill her, give her energy and trust, support and joy and good understood loyalty completely effortlessly. And she will give them it back without losing or sacrificing herself. Not people who will poison her, or mess with her, play and use her. I want her to not let it happen. I want her to be strong and independent. I want her to fight for herself, to stand against submission, conformity, manipulation, physical and mental abuse… I want her to follow her own heart and her own mind depending on events." She paused, looking away. "I really thought I was like that back then. But I was not, I was far away from that. I was plain stupid. I can believe that I involve myself in relation with that psychopath." She shivered visibly at the memory. "I was so susceptible to manipulation. Everybody just pushed me in his direction like I would have deserved nothing more, nothing better, and sadly I went that path. I wasn't strong enough to say what I was feeling, simple _No_._ I don't want that. I never want that. I never want him._ My only attempt of that was marriage with Louis. That was my saying _No! _And then of course Serena and Chuck, these noxious leeches, came and repeated one after another who I love… who I should be with… who made me happy…" She said with disgust. "And even Dan…" Her voice broke, tears dropped on her knees. "When I told him that I want to be happy, he brought me to Chuck." She shook her head, unbelievingly. "And I can tell you with all my heart that it wasn't a reaction that I expected from him. I hoped that he implied that _he_ can and wants to make me happy…" She dejected those flashbacks, wiggling a little. "But luckily it all doesn't matter anymore." Now all of it was just blurred, distant memories for her. She felt even like she never was part of that, like that was someone else's experiences. She felt good about that. This chapter of her life was not worth remembering or rereading for that matter or god forbid rewriting, as opposed to the next one which she wanted to explore in every meaning of this word.

Jenny listened to this monologue very carefully, pondering intensively. "Dan's hyperverbal skills passed on you definitely." Blair looked at her half nervous half abashed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't tell you any of it. I've got carried away. I really should go." She said embarrassed.

"Wait. You clearly have nobody to talk to…" Blair couldn't argue with that, even if she didn't want to admit it especially in front of her sister in law. "No worries it will stay only between you and me, like I said, just let me conclude your confession." Blair nodded her head, wanting to hear it. Jenny took a deep breath. "This is the past. In the end you and Dan found each other and had even several blissful years behind. I don't wanna dwelling in it, this is not time and that teenage dramas aren't hanging over you as you said but from what I know he clearly implied that he was able to raise Louis' baby with you. He loved you. He didn't even think that you can have feeling for him, you didn't give him any impression of that, even after his declaration. All he knew was that you didn't love Louis… And he did what he thought you want, despite that in his opinion Chuck was not good for you…" Blair glanced at Jenny timidly. "About Eileen: I think you don't have to worry about her. I've told Dan and I'm telling you, operation will succeed, I have no doubts in that." Blair looked skeptical but a bit relieved in the same time, Jenny continue further. "Not offense but she will never end up like you, in times before Dan of course." Jenny wasn't delicate to her intentionally. "She is already smart enough to not even look at boys like Chuck and girls like Serena. I can imagine her facial expression at people like them." She laughed out loud. "Pure distaste. And with Dan as a male pattern of behavior she will be looking for right things in life." Blair felt twinge in her heart. "You said also that absence of your parents, dad mostly was the key for your misery. So I don't understand why you jeopardized Ellie's emotional stability by cutting her dad out of her life for four years?"

Blair jaw dropped. She opened her mouth, then closed them. "I… It's not like that." She defeated, trying to kill her sense of guilt. "Ellie knows that she was not abandoned by him… and I wanted to tell him earlier…"

"But you didn't and in consequence it can bring problems in the future. Just prepare yourself for questions from her, questions difficult to answer, because she will not ease that off." She warned her openly. "Dan wanted to take care of you and your baby during your first pregnancy when the baby wasn't even his and you took away his own daughter away from him. Who did you want to punish by it? Dan, Eileen, yourself maybe… And for what?" She shook her head, knowing that Blair had no valid reason to escape let alone hiding a baby.

"You know nothing!" Blair got irritated, rising on her feet.

"Yes you are right, I do know nothing, along with Dan and rest of family. And I don't wanna know, it's your business. But your husband deserves explanation."

Blair froze at the word. _Husband. _Wow. She was ruffled for a moment. She never forgot that, but nobody was saying it out loud to her before. She shook her head, getting real. "He exactly knows what he did, and why I did that. He just shamelessly pretends in front of you even in front of me that he doesn't."

"Ok maybe he knows, but apparently he doesn't know that it was a reason. Just stop torturing my brother." She said firmly.

"Excuse me?" Blair asked indignant.

"Tell him straight. Enlighten him. And actually is one thing you can do for me… I want you to talk to him _before_ the surgery. Figure this out. Decide on something. You can't live in limbo forever."

Blair softened and nodded. "I know. I know." But she wasn't sure what she wanted. She was hurt still, enormously hurt but… her eyes flickered. "Bye." She waved a hand. And walked out the room.

.

.

.

Blair walked in carefully into Ellie's room. It's 2 in the morning. She didn't realize that she talked with Jenny over two hours. Corridor's lights gave her a view of Eileen who was sleeping peacefully, holding Cedric tight against her chest. She improved her cover and tugged Ellie's free lock over her ear. She was exhausted. She should asleep a second when her head was placed on the pillow but she didn't. She laid on her side in her bed still wearing clothes from the day, watching Dan who was sleeping on the sofa across her bed. He was curled in a ball, that couch was way too small for him and it had to be extremely inconvenient place to rest, but he never complain. Yes, he was sleeping there for a week and yes, that was terribly awkward situation for both of them. But they evaded the subject and evaded each other at times.

She sighed heavily and finally closed her eyes.

* * *

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi my lovely readers. Thank you so much for your reviews, all of them make me super happy ;) I'm not satisfied about this chapter, but it is like it is, tough! I also intended this chapter to be longer, but I wanted to just get rid of it, so sorry for it. You will find out today why Blair left Dan, it will not be surprise I think...**

**I should end this story in two more chapters I hope, but they will not be full of events or twists so... sorry. Probably I will disappoint miserably.**

**This part is also full of mistakes, errors etc. I'm just so tired... I can't focus on it, completely. Sorry, sorry, sorry.**

**To amandine: I didn't even realized that I use a word 'hallo' :) I'm not German, I'm from Poland, so it's close :):)**

**Last week I was diagnosed in very serious thing and ehh... I'm not going to self-pity here, this is no time and place and rather just pathetic. But writing this fic at some point keeping me sane. That's why I would write it anyway even if nobody would read it. So your responses are wonderful bonus for me. Thank you so much for that.**

**I will try to complete this story as soon as possible. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Eileen (Part 3)**

His cell phone rang when Dan was walking out his apartment's building. "Yes Jen, what's up?"

"_What's up?! How dare you?!" She yelled at him furious. "You must be here in a minute, understood!"_

"Jenny what happened?" He asked all in fear.

"_What happened? Mom and dad happened! They are freaking out. They are conspiring against me Dan. They are here all the time, when they are not they are calling. All the time. All the time!" She stressed. "When they stopped harangue and instruct and lecture me what I can do or what I can't and how worry they are, they are whining about you and Eileen. Even mom and Lilly are co-operating."_

Dan laughed. "Yes that sounds serious."

"_Mom and Lilly are talking casually how the things are going. This is insane. Could you please move their attention onto you by for example jumping under the train?" She asked, trying to convince him how __disastrous things were._

He rolled his eyes on her dramatic attempt. "No, I cannot do that." He answered unfazed. "This can't be that bad."

"_They are exasperating me. Please save me." She begged._

"I'm on my way to the hospital. Calm down, stop dramatizing."

"_Dramatizing?" She huffed. "I can't believe it." She hung up. _

The true was that everyone was freaking out. Dan, Blair, Jenny, their parents. Nobody was calm or cool. All of them dramatized in their own way. The surgery was nearer and nearer. Dan and Blair didn't speak with each other for these past few days, more specify they didn't exchange a word. They were rather avoiding themselves. After conversation with Jenny it was easier especially for Blair. They didn't make promise to her about their final confrontation, but they were kind of covenanted to do that, it was inevitable anyway but day of surgery as a deadline didn't make it easier to do it anyhow. They both also knew that Blair wouldn't be a person who would make a first move to that, so everything depended on Dan. Everybody could see how tense they were, specially Eileen. She asked them why they were not together with her anymore. They both avoided the answer.

.

.

.

The day of reckoning came finally. Ellie was brave as always, didn't cry or panic. As opposed to Blair. In a second when her daughter was placing under a general anesthesia she burst out crying hysterically. Dan had to literally bring her outside by force.

That was for sure the worst and the longest five hours in Dan's life. He thought many times before that he was not able to do anything, that he was powerless. But this day was the first time in his life that he really, really could say that he could do absolutely nothing. Languishing waiting and overwhelming stagnation killed him from the inside. He was petrified and he was praying. Yes praying, to the God probably, for the first time since his childhood. He paced back and forth in the hospital's corridor, with crossed arms rubbing her eyes or jaw anxiously, snapping occasionally on Alison who was trying to console him or on Rufus who was offering him a cup of tea. They didn't hold it against him and he apologized immediately of course, but despite that it wasn't easy time for anyone. Blair was fidgeting on the sofa, she hadn't enough strength to even stand on her feet. So she sat lost and scared as never wrapped by her father's arms.

The first three hours of waiting was disrupted by a doctor who came to inform them that Jennifer's operation went trouble free, without complication, her organism started function automatically and if nothing drastically changed during next 24 hours she could go home in 4, max 7 days. Both families breathed the sigh of relief. This is a good sigh, though. They all started asking about Eileen, only he could say was that kidney was ischemic for less than 4 minutes and with that swift action was good chance for success, surgery started immediately so he briefed them that they must wait patiently around 2 hours. With genuine and convincing smile on his lips he walked away. 'That means that everything will be ok, right.' Dan thought.

With time, Dan heard distressing noises at the end of corridor. He came nearer and from behind the pillar he saw nothing else like Blair slapping Nate Archibald in his face with all power she had. He ran up quickly.

"What are you doing here?" Dan asked harshly, standing between Nate and Blair.

"Oh Dan man, hi." Nate said as if nothing had happened, still rubbing his cheek.

"I asked you a question." Dan repeated more gruffly than before.

"I bumped into Eric, and he… he mentioned something why he is in New York longer than should be… and… I really couldn't believe… I'm really sorry." He said sympathetically. "I had no idea that you have a child… and…"

"You trouble yourself unnecessarily…" Dan began.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Blair exclaimed strictly, from behind Dan's back.

"Blair please. Dan." He turned to his former friend. "I know I deserve all of this and that you don't wanna see me. But I never stopped treating you guys as friends… close friends."

Blair laughed him out. "You chose your friends ten years ago. Now get out of my face!"

"They just asked me for help. What I supposed to do? I didn't know where these all was leading…" Either he was extremely clueless and naïve or arrogantly calculative. "I really regret it all."

"Don't you have your own brain? Are you really that giant imbecile or you are just pretending? You had to be very lost directing this slut's sex video, I have no doubt in it!" She riposted pointedly.

"I really thought that was harmless… you know, little schemes like in old good times." He smiled like a village idiot.

"Old times were never good, at all! And for real which part of complicity to plan a murder you don't understand…"

"You should better go." Dan interrupted her. "Come on Blair, this is not worth it…" They both made a step in direction of their waiting area.

"Hey." Nate waved his hand. "But in the end nothing happened right. Rufus is fine. You were together for awhile. And it didn't last anyway, so…" That wasn't the most clever line of defense, because with one blink Dan's fist with all force landed under Nate's eye, he bended forward and caught his bleeding nose.

"Daniel!" Eleanor called out, spotted them finally. She was looking for Blair, concerned why she was gone for so long.

"Could you take her from here?" Dan asked Eleanor. She nodded.

"Go to hell! Or to prison where you and your best friends should resident." Blair yelled, pulled away by her mother.

"Leave this place this instant. I don't need show you an exit, right." He said simply, starting to walk away.

"I am sorry, ok! What else I can do to make it up? I just wanna help you and your daughter, that's why I came."

"Listen man stay away from Eileen." Dan pointed at him angrily, warningly. "We don't need your help. We don't want you to make it up. This is done. Period!"

"Dan I'm really sorry, if I could take time back..." He said sadly.

"You really don't understand." Dan laughed bitterly. "You sabotaged our relationship with Blair for over a year doing the most disgusting things behind our backs under the dictation of Serena and Chuck, still acting like a big Dan and Blair supporter. You worked really hard all this time to ruin my life and Blair's. Blair's." He stressed. "The person who you knew and were best friends from the cradle with. And as the acing on the cake you almost killed my father, purposely. And you are talking here so airily about Blair and me like about common cold, like we are something unwelcomed and sooner or later passed by without repercussion. We are not friends anymore."

"You know that I never wanted to hurt you or Blair or your dad or anyone of your family. I would never let this to happen. This went out of hand. And I realized it when was too late. I really wasn't aware…"

"I don't care Nate. You participated in it, and that's enough. All three of you should be in jail right now or in a nuthouse. And you are not there only thanks to my dad's generousness or stupidity, you can call it whatever you want. Now I want you to leave and never come back." He walked away this time, not even turning back.

"Daniel, what was that about?" Eleanor stood up asking him, leaving little shook-up Blair on the sofa.

"I don't know. He probably wanted to stand by all of us." Eleanor snorted irritated. "No worry, he will not come here again."

"Rufus, I've told you that you should've been notifying the police back then." She looked at Rufus omnisciently.

"I've told him the same." Alison threw her remark quickly. Rufus just sighed regretfully.

"That's not a joke. I'm sorry Lily but this is serious and I don't wish my daughter or granddaughter to be invaded by those disturbed, lunatic people."

"I know. And I don't want it either. They are not going to come, I promise…" Lily answered immediately.

"I hope, because otherwise…"

"Ok. Stop. This is not our issue right now. Nate's visit was one-time and only his. Just let it go." Dan said to the gather people to quiet them down. "Are you ok?" He kneeled in front of Blair. She nodded. "Are you cold? You are shaking."

"No. I'm fine." She replied thankfully.

"I can bring you a blanket."

"No, I'm ok."

Nate's coming seemed to relive a tension between them. They almost forgot how turbulent their start was. They went through a lot at the very beginning of their relationship, any other couple in love didn't have to strive against so many ridiculous and factitious obstacles than them. Basically in every morning right after waking up and every evening right before going to sleep, they could expected new revelation about themselves, new secret coming out, new problem to solve. And they survived, unshakable and stronger than ever. They won so many battles… How came that they lost the last one, maybe the most important one? 'Ok. This is it. The right moment.' Dan thought. But his action was interrupted by doctor Simpson who emerged the room. They both rushed to him promptly.

"How is she?" They both called out together. Every pair of their parents focused on the doctor exasperatedly.

"She is all right." He smiled broadly at them. "There was not perturbation during surgery. Transplant kidney is working. Everything is on the good way to succeed." After that piece of information everyone sighed with relieve collectively.

"Can we see her?" Blair asked hopefully.

"No. I've told you that next 48 hours are decisive, we have to protect her from the infection. Every little germ from the outside can be dangerous and lead to rejection. She stays in isolation for now, we also keep her in pharmacological coma during this time. She will recover calmly and we will avoid tears, mom's tears." She pointed at Blair with genuine smile. "And Ellie's tears."

"But… I don't know. Is this safe? Keeping her in that state? I'm not sure…"

"It's safer. She is too little. We can monitor her more closely this way and separation with you would be traumatic for her. I will inform you what we are doing and what her condition is. Now I assure you everything is perfectly fine."

"We can see her only in two days." Dan stated disappointed.

"Unfortunately. I know this is hard for you, but you have to believe me, it's better for her. It repays, for real. And after that time if nothing drastic happened, we are going to observe her carefully for the next 2 weeks and then if everything will be fine you can bring her home and start to live normally again." He offered really promising scenario. Normal/life/again. Sounds more like oxymora than possibility.

"And Jenny… is she awake? Can we visit her?" Alison asked.

"Jennifer is still under the narcosis. Like I said, it's good for recovery. When she wakes up, I let you know immediately." He winked nicely. "Go home. Get some rest. You are here for hours. Everything is fine."

"No, no we stay. We all stay." Eleanor declared, nodding supportively in Blair's direction.

"Ok. I have to go to my other patients… Blair, Dan we are in touch." He pointed between them knowingly. "Good bye." He moved away.

"See honey. I've told you everything is going to be fine." Harold hugged Blair and kissed her temple. She nodded unconvincingly. "You should get some sleep. I walk you to Eileen's room, hmm…" He offered.

"Actually no dad…" She rubbed her forehead tiredly. "I couldn't asleep anyway…"

"So just try to rest…" She arched her eyebrow. "A bit." Then he motioned to Dan suggestively.

"No dad. Please don't do it!"

"Talk to him." He ordered. Harold turned around and called out. "Dan, son. Could you please take Blair from here? She needs some rest."

"Umm yeah of course." Dan replied little dumbfounded. Blair threw a warning look at her father. He on the other her pushed her forward encouragingly. Dan made a move in their direction. "Are you coming?" He gripped her forearm tenderly. Harold winked at him. Blair didn't withstand. They walked hand in hand knowing that it leaded to the confrontation which they couldn't protract anymore.

When Dan and Harold Waldorf met couple days ago for the first time since the incident with Police in Paris, the older man greeted Dan with wide smile 'Hallo son' on his mouth and pulling him into a hug. He assured him that nothing had changed between them, showing him his full support, in the marriage subject as well. Harold was the one who went to the commissariat and explained whole misunderstanding to the policemen. He also apologized to Dan constantly for Blair's behavior and his own behavior, that he should've called him earlier, and for everything in between. The only thing what bothered Dan was the fact that he must've know about Eileen obviously, and despite that he didn't tell him. Dan bore a grudge against him for that, he couldn't deny it.

When they re-emerged the room, Dan closed the door carefully behind him, none of them spoke a word. Blair stood back to him, holding her arms, looking blankly ahead.

"I think we really need to talk Blair." He said calmly after several moments of awkward silence.

She turned around. "Couldn't you find greater moment hmm." She said like she didn't care. "Eileen is fighting there and you…"

"Yes Eileen is fighting there – alone. And I cannot help her despite how much I want to. I cannot do anything for my daughter right now or for my sister so maybe I can do something for my wife." She snapped her head aside, abashedly. "So yes actually I couldn't find greater moment. Eileen is fighting, and I am fighting here for you."

"Just stop." She didn't dare to look at him, holding her hand out.

He approached closer to her. "I love you Blair, I never stopped all this time. I want to be with you." He was an inch from her now. She looked the other way catching her tears. Every conversation they shared over these weeks ended with her crying. She hated being so emotional and vulnerable around him and showing him her care. He hated seeing her crying and being so vulnerable around him, this was unnatural, and sometimes he really thought that maybe they couldn't speak with each other anymore.

"It doesn't change anything." She extended her hand for distant and pushed him lightly away.

"Why? We went through so much. The full year of war basically." They both reminded about Nate's coming. "Remember that pathetic duet of morons. No-brainer skanky, Barbie doll and let I find a right words psychopathic assfuck. Remember your diary posted on Gossip Girl with covered parts in black, which changed meaning and contexts of the note. Remember Serena's sexvideo with random, hired guy, who supposed to look like me, and how they failed miserably because as you know I don't have dragon tattoo on my back. Remember how they tried to ruin my dad's and Lily's marriage, after Bart's reappearance or whatever that was. Remember ruined stay in Rome. Remember these anonymous mails, text messengers, threats, blackmails, faking or posed pictures, all aggressive stalking. Remember detectives and kidnapers. We knew this will pass and passed…"

"Yeah passed after the zenith of some dangerous episodes. Because I remember also you and anaphylaxis after eating my birthday cake which wouldn't suppose to be with hazelnuts, me and gastric lavage after nasty mix of drags in my drink and your unconscious dad with cardiac arrest and no pulse on the floor in loft, when they changed over his medicaments. I remember all of it perfectly." The saddest part of this was that either Serena or Chuck for that matter didn't do it because of their 'feelings' for Dan or Blair. They did it for prize, for winning, to prove the point, they knew that they never be with them ever again, they probably even didn't want it. The prize was Dan and Blair's break up. That was enough for their attempt to destruct people' lives, literally.

Dan exhaled loudly. "I didn't think that they were capable of something like this either. That was sick, the apogee of beastliness but we survived this. We got through all of these because we knew it's worth this, that we are worth it. Now we are giving them satisfaction. You heard Nate, he was talking about us like…" He paused. "Blair…" He ran his hands over a back of his head.

"This is not about them. I don't care what they think."

"I know. But… What changed then? Why we cannot pass it now." He whispered sadly, looking at her pleadingly.

"Back then we were honest and faithful. That's the only difference."

"What do you suggest?" He asked a bit outraged. "Who is unfaithful, supposedly?" He threw his hands in the air.

"Well figure it out." She brushed her hair over her ears nervously.

"Me of course." He said bitterly. "But the only person who is dishonest here is you." He pointed his finger at her, irritated.

"What?" She dropped her hands.

"You walked away not saying a word. Even now you aren't going to say anything. You had somebody? You are with someone else now. Just tell me."

"Are you trying to insult me?" She asked rhetorically, her eyes opened wide. "Really Dan, stop pretending, because you are just embarrassing yourself more and more." She shook her head in disbelief.

Dan sighed. "Ok. I will give you divorce, if you want it and if it may help."

"I want." She retorted trying to sound convincingly, unsuccessfully.

"One condition." She looked at him suspiciously. "What do you think I did to you? Because I have no idea."

"I don't think, I know. I was there. I saw you with her." She said with a deadpan face. He stepped back open-mouthed, shaking his head in shock. "I know you cheated on me."

"What are you talking about? I never cheated on you! Never!" He exclaimed assertively.

"You really don't have to lie to me, you are just going down with every word." She said calmly.

"Blair." He approached to her. "Blair." He cupped her cheek in his palms. "Look at me!" He searched her eyes. She grabbed his wrists in protest, but she just leaned in to a touch instead. "I never cheated on you." He took a deep breath. "How you even came to that? I don't understand…"

"You really can stop to fib." She said collectedly and nervelessly. "I was in Boston the other day and I saw you and Samantha." He withdrew his hand from her, letting her own drop. He stepped back from her, rubbing back of his neck restively. "Finally it sinks in to you." She said practically. "Good. We straightened it out."

He seemed to not pay his attention on her. He muttered absently to himself, stepping back and forth. "Boston…? Samantha…? Boston… Samantha… Shooting a move in Boston!? Samantha Novak, the producer!?" He asked agitated, concluding.

"Exactly." She said with fake excitement.

"I never slept with her, _or_ anyone else." He stressed.

"This is getting boring…"

"When were you there?"

"It really doesn't matter. I want that just erase from my memory."

"It does to me. Because I was in the plane to New York the evening before our anniversary…"

She looked at him not that certain anymore. "Stop lying!" She ordered dismayingly. "I was in your hotel room that evening and I saw you with her. I even started to wonder why concierge was so reluctant to give me a key, but I found out why soon enough when I opened the door."

"You couldn't see me because I wasn't there." He whispered almost resigned.

She snorted. "So I hallucinated then? I saw your bag on the floor Dan, your things on the desk, your clothes in mess, female clothes in mess. I heard both of you in the shower and her moaning 'Dan'." She emphasized the word with disgust. "What else should I do to prove myself? Disclose the shower curtain?" She huffed.

"That was not me." He said surely.

"Then who? And what they were doing in your room?" She said ironically.

"I don't know probably Danton and Samantha. I shared room with him."

"Danton?" She murmured. 'Dan' she thought, but she quickly dismissed it.

"I was on my way home, Blair. I wanted to surprise you. I knew that we agreed that we could celebrate any other day and that I should go with that movie deal, but I felt bad anyway. I wanted to be with you that day and I decided to go at the airport right from the set. And then in two days go back, that's why I didn't even pack, that's why my luggage was still in the room." He was so calm, so oddly calm.

"No. This can't be the true." She shook her head desperately. "You are lying."

"Blair, when I arrived in the middle of the night and you were not home I knew something happened and when I was trying to call you and you didn't answer…" He trailed off. "I called Dorota early in the morning and she scorned me… I was looking for you, losing my mind, and you just…"

"I… I don't understand. I…" She mumbled with shaking voice, rubbing her forehead. "No!" She looked at him. "This is not true." He didn't respond. "I've seen you with her even 4th of July. When… when I was going to tell you that I was pregnant… I… You…" She was saying incoherently. "I need to sit down." She dropped onto Ellie's bed.

"You wanted to tell me that day? Why you didn't…? Like, why?" His voice cracked, his eyes shut tight.

"You brought her for meeting with me, I… I was never more humiliated… and hurt."

He exhaled tiredly, looking around. "I knew that was bad idea." He said to himself. "She called me that morning, right after you… she needed my sign on the contract… I said to her that she had only like 5 seconds because I had important meeting… and that were 5 seconds, I just signed it and she was gone." He studied her, from the spot in the middle of the room. "Then you arrived angry and tossed those papers in front of me, not saying a word. Blair please don't tell me that all was caused by misunderstanding?"

"I…" She looked away. "I wanted to die… I _want_ to die." She cried. "I don't even know how I got back to New York from Boston… I couldn't even think like… this was so painful… I was in lethargy. I couldn't pull myself together, or force to do anything. These weeks were disastrous." Her voice was unsure and trembling, she wiped her already rosy cheeks. "When Dorota sent for the doctor and when he suspected pregnancy next to general breakdown. The first thing I thought was you." He looked at her sorrowfully. "I wanted it so much. We wanted it, we dreamed about it… I wanted to tell you right away and even maybe hoped for… something. And when I saw her there, all pain crashed on me again and…"

"Blair… Oh Blair." He said with more consolation than he intended. She caught his eye, bursting into tears. "Shh." He sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. She grabbed the front of his shirt and nestled her head in his chest crying and choking. Couple moments later he felt his shirt soaking with her tears. "Shh." He tried to calm her down, petting her arm and side of her head.

"I'm sorr…" She looked up at him with red, swollen eyes.

"Shh." He didn't let her finish. He didn't know how long they sat like this. When she cried herself to sleep, he laid her down on the bed and covered her.

She curled up, opened her tired eyes and watched him closely. "What we are going to do now?" She asked unsure.

"I don't know." He said honestly, pulling out of her. "I can't…" He rubbed his forehead nervously. "I have to go." She just nodded sniffing, her eyes were filled with tears again.

In the corridor he closed the door and leaned back on them helplessly, sighing loudly. He didn't know what to do with _this_ situation. He really preferred her walked away from him for someone else or because she had no love form him anymore. 5 years. 5 miserable years because of what? Ridiculous assumption? 'She wanted surprised me, I wanted to surprise her. She escaped and didn't have desire to talk this out with me at all, why? Like why is it always so hard for her dealing with me?' He thought. His mind was racing. 'Surreal.' He didn't know what to do. Now. Where to go. Stay in the hallway. Go to the waiting room. He stood like that until he spotted Harold who was waiting for elevator.

"Dad!" He called out with a grunt.

"Hey Dan. I'm going for some proper food, want something special…" He said nicely.

"Actually no. I have a favor."

"Of course."

"I want you to check on Blair… right now." He accented. Harold seemed to get alarmed. "I don't want her to be alone. She needs you."

"What happened? Eileen?"

"No. We just… We talked and…"

"Everything what she thought she knew, wasn't exactly the true." Dan nodded soulfully. "Oh God." Harold sighed. "I'm going." He rushed to her room. "Thank you Dan for telling me. And I'm sorry, for everything."

Dan stood there again, alone. 'He is sorry.' He exhaled at the thought and laughed bitterly. 'He is sorry.' As dramatic events weren't going to leave him any time soon, he heard 3 familiar voices.

_Your son…_

_I at least didn't raise…_

_Oh yeah because your daughter…_

_My son would never…_

_Please stop arguing…_

_Said the woman whose daughter is psycho…_

"Of all women_ you_ are fighting who is better mother, really?" Dan said displeasingly, shaking his head disapprovingly. Eleanor's and Lily's jaws dropped.

"Dan." Alison said lovingly, guiltily. "Honey..."

"You should better take care of your daughters, they need you." He deadpanned. "Mom please check on Jenny. Eleanor, I think Blair would be happy if you come to her. And Lily, call Serena or whatever…" He said on the sofa exhausted. He heard only Eleanor's heels clicking with a rush, Lily just patted him on the shoulder and walked away. Alison sat next to him

"Mom you can go really. I don't wanna talk."

"That's all right. I just want to be with you."

"I'm not good companion today."

"That's all right." She embraced him affectionately. He didn't opposed.

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TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi beautiful people! Thank you for reading and rewievs and everything else.**

**I apologize for mistakes and errors, as always there is a lot of them.**

**I hope you will enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**Eileen (Part 4)**

First week after Eileen's awaking passed briefly. What changed? Eleanor started to greet Dan again, still proud and unfazed but with apologetic expression on her face. They were in good relations when Blair and he started dating, she accepted him and treated like a member of her family from the very beginning. He was worried back then that Blair's mother could have had difficulties with him, euphemistically speaking, but that was in fact unfounded. After failed marriage with Harold, years of posed happiness and pretended love she seemed to grown to the thought that it didn't matter from where you were but who you were. She married Cyrus after all. But now Dan didn't except much from her honestly. He actually didn't care about Eleanor's or anyone else's opinion by then and for now. Between him and Blair nothing changed. Or maybe one thing… right now Blair couldn't look at him not because of disgust but because of a shame, her shame. Dan on the other hand avoided her more than before, he didn't know why, he processed it all and he concluded that she had right to think like she did after what she saw. But why she didn't talk to him? That was the constant question in his head. Maybe it was too soon for him to act like he was reconciled. Because he clearly wasn't. The most important change – Eileen. She became the perkiest and cheerful child in the hospital, if that was even possible. She was talking a mile a minute. She was running and jumping, dancing even nobody couldn't harness her. She dragged Dan to the play room when her own toys bored her, he basically had to chase after her. She was so vital and happy, and he couldn't be happier, his daughter was healthy. She could pee on her own. Neither Dan nor Blair for that matter would have ever thought that they will be excited and high spirit because of such a trivial, physiological thing. Dan didn't see his own 4 years old daughter walking freely before. He realized that he knew her only in sickness, it made him sad a bit. She had catheter, sometimes drip or dialysis machine, she was laying in bed all the time. When she had to move somewhere they used wheelchair or he carried her. Now she was hopping around him joyfully. After seeing her like that he didn't need anything more from life. She played in all possible board games and composed all puzzles she had and read every book with Dan, with Blair and even with both of them. And it could have been nice family moments, if it wouldn't be so awkward. Regrets was eating Blair from the inside, Dan saw it clearly he even felt for her, she probably saw for the first time what they missed, what they could have had. These all moments were impossible to catch up. The guilt simply consumed her. Dan thought that they should wait it out, cool off. He made plan up and he was going hold on it. Realization of this concept he started on Wednesday a week before Ellie's planned discharging from hospital.

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"I didn't realize that such a little child can have so many things." Dan said breathing heavily, when they put last suitcases in Ellie's room in Blair's and his apartment, Harold started to chuckle. "Well ok. I might have guessed, it's Blair's child."

"Packing this was a nightmare and I'm sure Blair will reprimand me for bad packing, especially her stuff. I'm prepared to her discontentment about it." He smiled warmly.

"Thank you so much dad for sending all of it from Paris and for helping me with this room." Dan said gratefully. "I really want to meet their expectation." He paused. "I hope Blair wouldn't be disappointed." He looked around newly redecorated room. Blair didn't know that he intended to bring them to their apartment that he set up bedroom for Eileen similarly to her room in Harold's house, the same room which she chose as a nursery the day when they bought this place. 'This will be nursery.' She announced confidently that Dan wasn't sure if she was telling him that she was already pregnant or that she was just planning it.

"Are you kidding me? It's beautiful Dan. You did a wonderful job here. It definitely follows Blair's taste and ideas. And the walls, just magnificent. It's Alison's work." He didn't need confirmation.

Dan nodded. "Yes, I asked mom only to paint something on the wall. And I didn't expect such an impressive effect, really." Dan knew that among photographs, books, board games and well Cedric, Eileen adored nature – trees, plants, tinier and bigger animals so Alison painted on the two corner walls almost tridimensional meadow – green grass, colorful flowers and smiling little friends from cartoons like butterflies Molly and Dolly, bee Stella, grasshopper Bob and cricket Mark. It seemed that the bed was located in the middle of the bright, sunny mead.

"Do you need help with unpacking it?"

"Oh no. I'm not going that path. That would be risky venture." He shook his head decadently. "I asked Dorota to neaten Eileen's clothes up in proper order. Blair's things stay untouched in the bedroom to her arrival."

"That's smart." Harold nodded approvingly.

"Do you want something to drink, eat? Fridge is finally full so…"

"Tea would be great." Dan nodded to his father in law, and they headed to the kitchen. Harold sat at the table when Dan was preparing tea maker. "Dan, I am really sorry. And I want to apologize to you." Dan just sighed, slanting at the sink. "You have to understand me, I wanted to save my daughter like you want to save yours." Dan snorted. "I neglected Blair when she was younger. I wanted to compensate it for her, as usual ineffectually." He said sadly.

"I don't want to sound bitter but I was contacting with you so many times and you never told me that she was with you in Paris whole this time. You knew that I was looking for her, you knew that she was pregnant. I was there couple times. The last time Eileen was 6 months old, and you still never mentioned her. I just can't believe that it was lasting for so long."

"I am ashamed of it. Believe me. You have right to be angry with me, I never forgive myself that, if someone would have hid Blair from me I don't know what I would do. But please I need you to accept my apology. She never told me what happened between you two. I thought firstly that she did something stupid, but she was too devastated for that. When she told me she was pregnant I tried to convince her to talk to you. She promised that she was going to but when she would feel better, then after a labor and then when Ellie would be bigger. Always some excuse. I called you to come, I thought that when she saw you she finally worked up courage…" He trailed off. "Dan she threatened me that when I tell you were she is, she will go away and I will never see her again. She was in condition when she actually could do that. I couldn't risk it." Dan sighed tiredly again, knowing Blair she was able to such a thing, especially in that hard moment like that.

"Ok dad, just forget about it. Now is the most important and now is good. Right?"

"Right. So you are not mad at me anymore?"

"No. I wasn't mad, I just didn't understand why. I'm still not sure if I do, but it's ok. I'm ok. Don't worry."

"Sure?"

"Sure." Dan smiled.

"I need to know something." He said offering a cup of tea to Harold, he looked at him curiously. "Blair was doing so well in Harper's Bazaar, she was on her way to conquer the world." He said that with pride and worship in his voice. Harold watched him indebted, He always thought about Blair first, even now. "But she quitted this job so easily day-to-day basically and disappeared. She was in her element there and I know work was always very important to her. Is she doing something or…"

"Well. Not exactly." He started. "She focused completely on pregnancy and the baby. Job seemed to be not important to her at all. When Eileen was born, she was her world. She revived, really revived with her. When Ellie turned one Blair decided on study. She started double minor in art history and history of French literature. She passed in flying colors, of course." He smirked. "Only in last December she said that she missed her work and she wanted to start all over again, so she applied for a job in Vogue Paris. She got it. In March she was going to start, but for the obvious reasons she resigned."

Dan nodded knowingly. "I understand." He said sipping his tea.

"How is your work? Congratulation for the promotion. Chef Editor in New Yorker, dreams came true, hyh?"

"I've never even dreamed about that, to be honest." He laughed. "It's good. Responsible, challenging, exhausting, but good." Harold nodded. "When Blair left I completely fastened onto work. Sometimes I even think that I'm credited to her for that. I would have never reached that if she would stay. I'm not saying that I'm grateful for that oh no no no. " He added quickly shaking his head. "I would do everything to reverse it. Career was important to me but not the most important."

Harold stayed silent for the moment. "Dan please, don't give up on Blair." Dan was a little shocked by the statement. "Don't let her push you away this time. She is stubborn and proud and ashamed. She knew she made a mistake, and it's hard for her admit it. I think, that she thinks that she is not able to make it up for you, that's way she is distant and persistent. She loves you, if she doesn't she wouldn't act like that." "It's not that simple." "Just try. Be patient and tolerant. Little by little…"

"I'm not sure I'm still that determined as before. Everything has changed. And it's hard rebuilt from that. I don't think I can, at least." Dan knew that everything was leading to divorce, but he didn't want to talk with him about it right now. "I can't promise anything."

"That's enough for me. You are perfect for each other, you should remember that. Pairing like you two betides once in the lifetime. I knew that from the very beginning and that should stay like that forever. I don't want you two to regret more actions. Do not do anything impulsively." Dan didn't react. In that moment Rufus entered a room, holding the box with air filter.

"Hi Dan." He noticed Harold. "Oh hallo Harold."

"Hallo Rufus." They shook their hands.

"How is Jennifer?"

"Oh she is great. Alison took her to Hudson for a couple of days." He said. "She is back in work, I'm a little afraid that she is overdoing already, but she is ignoring me…"

"Daughters." Harold sighed heavily.

"Yeah." He contemplated a bit and turned to Dan. "I brought this filter for Ellie's room, we were talking about." He put a box on the counter.

"Thank you dad. I will install it later."

"I can help you. I'm the handyman of UES though." He said proudly. Harold chuckled.

"Oh god dad…"

"What? Mrs. Mansfeldow called me that after repairing her faucet."

"Dad don't take Mrs. Mansfeldow's option so serious, I really don't think it can be treat as oracle considering her mental state and fascination of the plebeians."

"Is not that bad." Rufus deafened. Complements of this old lady somehow titillate his ego.

"He called me armiger." The three of them laughed out loud.

"Son, believe me I can mount this filter." He pointed at the box with fake hurt.

"Knowing from experience, your refitting skills say otherwise. Remember that chair…"

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June 9th, 2021. Six anniversary of Dan and Blair wedding. (They both pretended that they didn't remember.)

And the day when Eileen was going home.

Blair should be happy, her daughter finally was all right, well about that she was deliriously happy but the other things made her cringe. She didn't know what waited for her outside. She didn't have place to leave here in New York. There were no option going back to Paris because of Dan, but she didn't want to end up in her mother's penthouse either, not with Eileen, not again. But it seemed the only choice, at least for now. And Dan. What about Dan? Official separation? Divorce?

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Dan entered Ellie's room in the hospital when Blair was packing their things. She looked at him.

"Where is Ellie?"

"She stays with Eric in cafeteria, I thought I will help you with this." He answered.

"I can handle the packing." She said dryly.

"I know Mrs. Do-it-herself." She glared at him. "Extra pair of hands could be useful." He grabbed an empty suitcase and approached to a closet. Blair took a pile of books from the shelf, and tried to carry them. "Blair it's heavy, you can drop… let me help you." He made a step forward. She turned abruptly, and the books felt down on the floor. She cursed under her breath, he kneeled next to her.

"Leave it!" She swatted his hand. "Always good intention, good nature, good manner. You don't have to help me up! I don't need it!"

"Fine." He stood up rashly and went to open a closet. Blair collected some books and threw them laxly into the box. Dan took Eileen's clothes and started to make them carefully in the suitcase.

"What do you think you are doing?" She asked him puzzled.

"I think I am packing clothes." He said slowly, audibly.

She approached to him and snatched Eileen's t-shirt from his hands. "Stay away from it."

"I am able to pack clothes, Blair. It will be faster."

"Everything will be wrinkled and… I will do it."

"Of course." He dropped a bottom of Ellie's pajama on the bed. "You do everything better. You know everything better. Last 5 years you were doing and knowing everything better." She got speechless. "I'm going to Ellie. You can do whatever you want. You don't need me, you said it yourself." He brushed past her and went out.

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"Hi." Eric knocked mildly.

"Hi." She replied with a tiny smile.

"Are you ready? Dan wanted to know if we can take stuff to the car."

"Why didn't he come himself and ask?" Eric narrowed his eyes at her. "Ok. Ok. I know. Yes everything is ready to go."

"Why are you like this towards him?" Eric asked, leaning on the doorframe.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. It's easier to sustain… All of this."

"Protective barrier. Hmm interesting." She looked down. "Did you decide on something?"

"No." "Are you going decide on something?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want something specific from him?"

She looked at him clueless. "I don't understand." Eric didn't intend to explain.

"I will do what he proposes. I own him that."

Eric sighed disapprovingly. "I will go for him, and we will take these." He waved a hand over the mound of boxes. "Many of it." She just nodded apologetically.

.

.

.

Eileen was walking around the clinic with that colorful, summer dress in stripes, loosely knit ponytail with a silk ribbon (no headband!) and Cedric in arms. She was the light of this place. She melted hearts in passerbies' chests. She concentrated attention of all people in hospital by her open attitude. Everyone complemented her and congratulated Blair. Blair was so proud, having such a well-behaved, smart, beautiful and popular child, was a good reasons to be proud. They both thanked and said good bye to the doctors, nurses and friends.

Blair was sitting on the bed with Ellie on the laps in already empty room waiting for Dan or Eric to come for them. Ellie constantly asking where they were going and where was dad. Blair couldn't answer honestly that question. She suggested tentatively that they were going to grandma Eleanor.

"Come on. Dan is waiting in front the building for you." Eric said.

"Ok. Come on then sweetheart." Blair said nervously. She took one last look around the room.

"Mommy. We have to go." Ellie said eagerly, seizing her mother's hand.

"Yeah. We are going." Blair smiled brightly down on her daughter.

Blair, Eric and fidgeted Ellie were waiting for Dan on the sidewalk, when he parked up in front of them and got out from the car Eileen with top speed hurled herself into her dad's arms. He laughed and lifted her in the air. "Hallo to you pretty lady." He smiled at her and kissed her cheek. He placed her on his left hip, Cedric was clenched between them. "Missed me a bit." She nodded affirmatively, he laughed and kissed her again. "Come on…" Dan opened the door, Ellie jumped excitably into the car and sat on the child seat, he clasped a seatbelt around her. "Watch your fingers, ok." He closed the door gently, carefully, then he headed to the driver's seat. He half sat on it when he noticed that Blair still was standing in the middle of the pavement, with crossed arms, pouted lips, stepping from one foot to the other. "The princess needs special invitation to the carriage?" He called out sarcastically. Eric burst out laughing next to her. She huffed irritated, scowling at Dan and hit Eric by her purse. Dan slammed his door and waited for her. She walked around the car with her head high. She sat in the backseat next to Ellie, slamming the door theatrically. Dan ignored her, opening a window he asked. "Eric, do you need a lift?"

"Oh no thanks. I think I will better take subway."

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you again for help."

"You are welcome."

When Dan drove away, Ellie asked. "Where are we going daddy?"

"Home sweetie." He smiled at her in the rear-view mirror.

"To grandma Eleanor?"

"No." Blair peeked alarmed at him. "Grandma's home is grandma's. We are going to your own home."

"I have my own home?" That was actually very sad statement. She was leaving in grandpa Harold house, then she thought that she will be in grandma Eleanor place. Blair thought about that places as not hers honestly, but she wasn't aware that her daughter could think about that this way too.

"Of course." Dan said confidently, trying to sound unaffected.

"Dan we can't go to the loft." She whispered, sticking a head between the seats.

"We are not going to the loft." He stated. 20 minutes later he stopped the car and Blair realized that they were in front of the building of their apartment. 'He didn't sell it?' She thought.

.

.

.

Eileen was super excited, she admired a place since the moment she stepped in, dragging Dan inside quickly. Blair walked in unsure just behind them, her heart was beating like crazy, palms sweating, she grasped her bag's stripes firmly. The apartment looked exactly like she remembered, like she decorated it. Every single piece of furniture, every single detail was the same like she saw it the last time. The place was clean and bright. Dan looked at her nervously from the corner of his eye. He wasn't sure how Blair would react on his idea.

"It's beautiful." Ellie looked around the living room.

"You lived here with mommy before?"

"Yes." He answered honestly.

She nodded. "I see your pictures on the fireplace. Can I see them?"

"Yeah." He lifted her up. The girl started to giggle. "What is so funny, hyh?"

"You." She continued to giggle. He frowned his brows. "You look so funny on this picture." She pointed at the frame with the photo of Blair and him, taking by Lola in the theater where Inside was performed.

"Oh yeah this is the worst picture of me, I suppose." He cringed.

"So why is it on display?" She asked seriously, petting his jaw consolably. That was one of her ways to show him her affection. He loved it.

"Your mommy insisted. She, don't know why, liked it very much."

Ellie let her head rest against his shoulder. "You don't look bad, just funny."

"Thank you, honey."

"Rest of them is lovely. Where is that from?" She asked intrigued.

"Peru. This is very old estate of Incas, tribe from Latin America. Machu Picchu."

She absorbed information. "Is that llama?" She studied a picture closely.

Dan laughed, remembering Blair's reaction on coming a wild animal closer to them the second after they took that photo. "Yes."

"Mommy didn't like it, I guess." She stated pointedly.

"Yeah we can call it that." He grinned.

"Would you show me your albums? I want to see alllllllll pictures you have." She opened her arms showing how many.

"Of course but what would you say if we go and see your bedroom first?" He asked her finally, arching his eyebrows encouragingly.

"Yes, yes, yes." She hugged him tighter.

Blair watched them with amusement. She never doubted that Dan would be amazing father, and he was. He loved Ellie so much. When he looked at their daughter, spoke with her, listen to her his face expressed pure adoration that was incomparable to anything else what she witnessed in her entire life. Blair's heart melted every single time. It almost hurt. Ellie adored him too without question. They knew each other only a tad over a month, but they seemed that they were never apart. The regrets came back unawareness. They could have had it. All.

"Mommy, come with us." She turned to Blair who was standing still in the foyer like a guest, deep in her thought. "We are going to my room."

"Yeah, come on Blair." He beckoned for her. He put Ellie down. And they went upstairs.

"Which one?" Ellie asked which door she should choose.

"These." He gestured. She opened them and walked in timidly.

"Wow." She exhaled.

"Do you like it?" He asked unsure, biting his bottom lip, entering the room.

"I love it!" The girl said all thrilled. She put Cedric on the giant bed and climbed on it. "Grandma Alison painted this?" She asked standing already.

"Yes, she did."

"It looks like real." She touched a small daisy on the wall and started to jump on the soft mattress.

"No, no, no. Do not jump on the bed, you can hurt yourself." He said firmly catching her. "Look." He turned them to the shelves. "You have all your books here, albums and toys." He pointed on one corner of the room. "And clothes." He showed her a wardrobe.

"Mommy, the room is so pretty." She said contently.

"Yeah it is." She replied dreamy, smoothing a white cupboard. "It's stunning."

"Your dad helped me. He showed me pictures of Eileen's room in his house and chose right furniture…"

"It's fantastic Dan." She interrupted him. "Thank you. I wouldn't do it any better, really." She nodded appreciatively. "It looks marvelous. Especially the painting." She paused. "Alison is so gifted. I have to thank her too." She said softly.

"I'm glad you like it." He paused. "I hope you don't mind but I invited your parents, my parents, Jenny, Eric and Dorota with her family for dinner today at six. That's why they weren't in the hospital today."

"I don't mind." Ellie said sincerely.

Blair shrugged. "I don't mind too."

"Okay then." He extended. "So I should prepare something to eat for the evening. Would you help me in the kitchen partner?" He asked Ellie, swaying her a bit.

"Yeah!"

"Meet you there in a minute ok?" She nodded and freed herself from his hold and ran downstairs, Blair followed Eileen with her eyes, smiling adoringly. "Hey! Not so fast!" He called after her. "Your dad brought your things too." Dan started hesitantly. "They are in the bedroom, you can unpacked them or rest or get ready. Take your time." She nodded. "See you later." He left her in the corridor in front of their old bedroom.

Blair walked in shyly, peeping in firstly. She stepped in and smelled well known scent, mix of her perfume and Dan's cologne. The room must soak in them, tears appeared in her eyes immediately. Their room looked the same, clean and fresh, expect suitcases on the floor with her properties which Harold sent. The same silk sheets in which she slept the last time. Dressing table intact, her half full perfume bottles, make-up cosmetics, skin cream, hand care lotion etc. All of it wasn't even useful anymore, expired a long time ago. She sat in front of the mirror and opened a drawer, she sighed expecting what she could find there. Cubic zirconia tiara on the sateen, jewelry pillow. She took it gently, it was still sparkling in the sun. 'It's been 10 years.' She thought, she put it back and moved to the wardrobe. All her clothes were hanging neat and tidy, nothing were missing. She noticed only relatively small, empty part when Dan's clothes supposed to be. She sighed again. In the bathroom she spotted her toothbrash in the cup on the sink, only hers, and her lavender shampoo she used the morning she was going to Boston, she remembered perfectly how she left it in the corner of the bathtub edge with open cap and it stand like that until now. The room looked like symbolic mausoleum. Sudden overpowering sadness took her over, she started to sob.

.

.

.

Dinner wasn't that awkward like he suspected to be. There was casual small talk about neutral topics. Conversation seemed to go smoothly and unenforced. And luckily Eileen entertained the group being in center of their attention and talking with everybody. It was much easier avoided stodgy atmosphere with her. Cyrus asked harmlessly about Dan's work in the magazine truly interested. Eleanor commended Ellie's room mutedly with her well known reserve. Dan was also astonished how big Anastasia and Leo, Dorota's children, were. He remembered Leo in Ellie's age, and Anastasia… more teenager than kid. That was unbelievable to him how time flew. How everything was changing around. Leo reminded him several polish phrases he learned before, he felt like polyglot again knowing even only simple words in that difficult language. Only Jenny brought with herself a moment of awkwardness intentionally of course, greeting Dan and Blair with 'Happy Anniversary!' which met a collective grunt and Rufus's cautionary glare. Jen just shrugged nonchalantly, proud of herself and sat next to him. Lily tried to rescue everyone by asking Dan about recipe for pasta, what everyone found even more bizarre than Jen's allusion, like Lilly would ever cook that though. Blair felt little out of the picture during the meeting but she found peace in Dorota's warm look and kind words. She talked with her and her daughter, most of the evening, enjoying her time with them. After all that was nice dinner.

Eileen was exhausted. She basically was falling asleep in the bathtub. Blair had to carry her to bed. Laying her there she was already snoring lightly in deep sleep, Blair put Cedric close at girl's hand, in case she would wake up in the middle of the night. Blair was tired too. She took quick shower and went downstairs for a cup of tea.

"Oh sorry. I didn't know you are here." She said to Dan who was taking the dishes out of the dishwasher and backed down.

"You can stay Blair. I'm finishing it."

"I just…" She started uptight. "I just wanted to make tea…" She approached uneasily to the kettle. "Do you want some?" She asked him indecisively.

"Oh yes please." He answered pleasantly surprised, putting the last plate in the cupboard. "How is Ellie? Pretty tired hyh."

"Oh yeah. That was eventful day for all of us. She felt asleep in the bathroom actually." They shared only a smile. "She will sleep like a log all night, probably."

Blair placed his mug in front of him on the table and sat in opposite side. Dan looked down for a moment unsure how to tell her what he was going to do, he sighed out. "I just want to tell you that I will move out the day after tomorrow." She glanced at him woefully. "I don't want to intrude you anymore."

She rolled her eyes. "You are not intruder." She claimed surely. "And you don't have to do this." She said with the tiny hope in her voice.

"Yes I have to. You don't feel comfortable when I'm around, I can see you are avoiding me." She didn't dare to look at him. "And I don't want to confuse Eileen, so I will do it as soon as possible."

"Confuse?"

"Yeah that we will live together, all three of us." She locked her eyes on his completely downheartedly. "I can't do it right away because loft is occupied by Eric and Rob. When they go back to Miami I will move in there." He stated calmly. "We survive one more day somehow, hyh." He attempted to joke.

She ignored that sentence. "Rob?" She asked, trying to sound undisturbed.

"Yeah Robin, his husband."

"Husband? I had no idea that Eric has someone, let alone that he is married."

"They got married last summer in Spain." He informed her, sipping his tea.

"Why didn't he bring him today? I would love to meet him." She asked agitated.

"I insisted but Rob decided that he would stay at home. He said that it's family thing etc."

"But Eric is family, so he is family…"

"I've told him that, but he was inflexible. You will have an opportunity to meet him not once surely." She nodded.

"I also thought…" He trailed off jerkily. "I'm sorry for straightforwardness but we probably never find a better moment for that…" She knew what happen next. "I thought that we should agree on no-fault divorce." Dan bit his lip nervously, she wasn't surprised by his statement this time.

"Ok."

"Ok?" He watched her carefully. "Ok." He confirmed. "I know we didn't signed a prenup, but don't worry I don't want anything and apartment is yours and Eileen's."

"No Dan I can't agree on that. It's as much yours as mine." She said firmly. "You loved this place…"

"You loved this place too." He remarked accurately. She exhaled and rubbed her forehead nervously. Dan put his hands flatly on the table. "Eileen needs stable, very own place to live, real home. You both need it. We used to be family here." He said with lower and soulful voice. "I want her to feel safe and secure, to grow in familiar environment. I have no doubts that you will give her that, and make this place sanctuary for her, like you made it once for me." He grunted, feeling like he said too much.

"Dan, we…" She began bashfully.

"Don't say it. I've got carried away."

"I feel like I'm taking everything away from you. I…" She trailed off. "It's wrong, so wrong. I can't let you forgo everything just like that." She confessed honestly, seriously.

"This are just things Blair, you know I've never cared about them."

"You know that I'm not talking about that…"

He sighed. "Let bygones be bygones. We have to move on. Don't worry about me." He took a sip and smiled at her unconvincingly. She didn't respond. "Should we proceed affiliation firstly?" She looked at him puzzled. "I want to be legally confirmed as Ellie's father and have full and equal custody of her, as you." He paused because she looked hurt. "I hope you don't have problem with that?" He said worriedly.

Blair stood up and took a file with Ellie's hospital's documentation from her bag which she left earlier on the kitchen counter. She flipped through the papers and showed him one of them. He took it hesitantly. That was Ellie's birth certificate. He upped his head immediately and looked at her with wide, hopeful eyes. He searched for the certain rubric.

Child:  
Eileen Sophie Humphrey; 6.43 am; Girl; February 23, 2017; The American Hospital of Paris, Maternity Unit; Paris, France.

Mother:  
Blair Cornelia Humphrey; November 14, 1990; New York City, US; Waldorf; Paris, France.

Father:  
Daniel Randolph Humphrey; April 26, 1990; New York City, US.

His mouth parted a bit, his eyes flickered at her like they used to do, with expression of total, positive surprise.

"I would never do that to you." She opened up. "You are her father and I couldn't even imagine otherwise."

But fact that his name was looming on the document wasn't a reason of his amazement. "Sophie?" He said with shy query. The warmth and deepness of his look made her blushed. He always had ability to overawe her, especially by looking at her. Whole love he had to her was exposed evidently in those big, brown dove eyes. And this time wasn't different. She missed him agonizingly. "How?" He paused. "Did you know?"

Blair bravely collected herself and mustered a smile. "You told me." He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes intrigued. "Remember, in Rome when rainstorm caught us one day, and I got three-days cold." He nodded, remembering perfectly.

"Sick Blair means depressing movies." He interjected playfully, forming a gentle smile.

"Yeah. That's one of my many blemishes." She paused. "Anyway. I drove you to watch Sophie's choice… and I felt asleep like 20 minutes later, supposedly."

"Supposedly?" He frowned.

"Because I didn't. I was listening your stories you told sleeping me about us." He gapped his mouth in disbelief. "And just then you said that you are going to persuade me on Sophie as a name of our future daughter. And I must agree that wisdom is very good name choice for the girl." She almost winked at him playfully.

"I'm so embarrassed right now. You never told me… please don't tell me that you heard everything?!" He asked suddenly in horror.

She was grinning. "Don't be. And yes, everything." He hid his face in his hands. "I'm glad we don't have a son because I would never agree on Conrad." She tried to lighten up an atmosphere.

"Hey you have something against Joseph Conrad."

"Oh nothing at all, I just would prefer you to not naming babies after him." Dan laughed a little after that riposte. Blair on the other hand got serious. "You described our future so brilliantly, you were so sure about… everything. You wanted life of my dreams, what just proved that we had more and more in common than we initially thought. That day after what you said about us, about me, all these things. I promised myself that I will never disappoint you or let you go… And I failed sordidly."

"Blair…"

"Don't say anything. You don't have to solace me."

Dan sighed out dejectedly. "Thank you Blair." He said finally after a long pause. "For this." He held Ellie's birth certificate. "For thinking about me somewhat…"

"I've never intended hiding her. I wanted you to be a part of it from the very beginning, I really do. I've just…"

"The longer you linger to do something the harder is doing it with time." She nodded. He felt awful reverting to the topic in the moment like that, but he felt like he should have. "Do you think Cyrus could take care of formalities for us? It's better to sort this out with someone we trust, I think."

He got her back on Earth rapidly, too rapidly. "Yeah of course. I will talk with him about that soon. He will help for sure."

"Ok." He stood up from his chair and put his cup into the sink. "I'm really happy we talked tonight. Not only about divorce but in general. It's really nice to have normal conversations with you again." She just smiled weakly. She didn't want to have just normal conversations with him. She wanted to have everything with him, like before. Being in their home for the first time in five years released in her all pent-up emotions with intensified power, she wanted him. Him. But it was too late. To cap it all off, he dared to kiss her temple. "Good night Blair." With that he walked to the guest room. The burning feeling in the place where his lips contacted with her skin, couldn't left her despite she wanted it very much.

When Dan closed the door, he leaned on them panting. He regretted the kiss the second he touched her face. That was spontaneous gesture, he didn't expect it either. It just happened. It took all his will power to dismiss the enormous temptation to go back there and kiss her furiously caressing every part of her delicious body in every possible way. He wanted her. Everything with her, like before. But it was too late.

.

.

.

Blair woke up in the middle of the night sweating, gasping for air, clenching her thighs tight. Her center was pulsing uncontrollably demanding someone's attention. She went through this not once or twice before. She knew when she would touch herself just for calming the spot down, she wouldn't stop on that. She was full awaked but she still felt his hips moving rhythmically with hers in perfect union, his lips on the crook of her neck, his stubble scratching delightedly her skin, his hand squeezing her left breast making her body covered by Goosebumps. Electricity ran through her from the top of her head to the end of her toes. Dreams about making love with Dan tortured her in years. They always were very vivid, what drove her crazy… and wild. But this time was so real like never before. Was that because he was in the next room or because she was sleeping in their bed? She didn't know. All she knew was that she needed relief.

She gave in.

Wound up she slid her hand down between her legs, spreading them out, parting her lips. Running her finger up and down from her clit to her center, relishing her own softness and wetness. She couldn't recall when she was that wet for the last time. She stroked her clit with fingertips slowly at first, then pressing them a little bit harder. She moaned audibly. She rubbed it in circles with her two fingers slicked with wetness, faster and faster couldn't take anticipation any longer, achieving more frantic pace with every move. Her legs tensed up, hips bucked, fist gripped a sheets. She was continuing her action until she came off hard. She arched her body in pleasure at the end, calling absently, subconsciously her husband's name, twitching and out of breath. Still dazed, she put her one palm on her chest trying to calm her wild beating heart, with the other she wiped drops of sweat from her forehead. She curled up in a bowl after a moment, shifting on Dan's side of the bed, clutching his old pillow. Move on. How? She couldn't see any perspective for her future. Her working life didn't exist. Her private life was shattered. For the past five years Dan and she lived apart but she was still very connected to him. In her twisted line of thought, knowing that he functioned out there as her husband was enough for her. Now the end of them never was more real, never was closer. Will she feel like that forever? Miserable. Pathetic. Half empty inside. She shed more than few tears again that night.

.

.

.

Dan bustled in the kitchen early in the morning, already dressed ready for work. He had to be earlier in the office for meeting with editors of particular departments. He had so many things to catch up at work, browsing through overdue articles was just the beginning. He groaned at the though. He activated a coffee machine and made toasts for the breakfast.

He was sipping his extra strong, black coffee looking outside the window when he felt a tiny, noiseless shadow approaching to him. He smiled broadly to himself. Looking down he saw Ellie who was standing inch from his leg in exact the same yellow pajama in cherries, in which he saw her for the first time in the hospital. She tilted her head to the side and curved her lips down. He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and squatted in front of her."Why are you up so early? I woke you up?" He asked.

"No. I couldn't sleep." She pouted her lips. He lifted her up and placed her on the counter. He gathered her messy curls and tied them back in loose ponytail, eyeing her closely.

"Are you hungry? Wanna cocoa, pancakes…" She shook her head no.

"I don't feel well."

Pure fear ran through Dan. Bucking up he switched in the doctor mode immediately. "Are you nauseous? Is your tummy hurting? Are you thirsty? Do you want to pee a lot, but you can't?" He examined her stomach. 'Flat and soft.' He thought. Trying to keep presence of mind he started to consider possibilities.

"Daaady!" She extended annoyed, rolling her eyes. She had to cut in, he didn't give her even opportunity to answer these questions. "My heart is aching." She said with the saddest expression he ever saw on her face looking straight in his eyes, fluttering her long eyelashes along the process.

He sighed not less bothered at all. "Why is that? Why are you upset?" He upped her chin and stroked her cheek cheeringly. "Come on." He carried her to living room. "What happened?" He asked concerned. They sat on the sofa.

"I woke up yesterday." She began. "I went to mommy. She was alone in your bedroom's bathroom and she was crying." He took a deep breath. "She was very sad. Did you argue?"

"No sweetheart." He paused "Of course we didn't argue. Mommy and I are fine. Don't worry." He managed to smile at her.

"So where were you?" She delved relentlessly.

He dumbfounded. "I worked… in the office. It was late… and I didn't want to wake anyone so…" He trailed off. Why was he lying to her? 'Shame. Shame. Shame.' She didn't even buy it, he saw it clearly. But miraculously she conceded for now.

"I love mommy very much. I don't like when she is crying." She said.

"I know. I don't like it too. I also don't like when you are sad." He pointed at her, smiling. "And mommy doesn't like it either. I'm sure it was nothing. Maybe she hit her knee on the bath edge, believe me it hurts very badly. I cried because of that couple times. She is fine." Ellie didn't seem convinced. He was terrible at this, he felt it. He wouldn't want to hear that nonsense himself. "I will talk with her later." He offered. A satisfied smile appeared on her porcelain face. "Don't worry. Ok?"

"Ok." She snuggled into his chest sleepily. "I'm calm now because you will talk to her." She yawned. "Do you love mommy?" She asked harmlessly.

He shifted awkwardly, grunting quietly. He didn't know what to say, how extricate from that. He couldn't say he didn't love Blair. That would sound cruel and would be a lie, another one. When he would say the true she would have asked questions when she would find out that they were not together and they will never be. When people love each other they are together, he always believed in that. He was sure Ellie would have concluded it that way too. How to explain that sometimes it's impossible. Their problems could not mess up with Ellie. They needed protect her, no matter what. But she waited for the answer. "Of course I love mommy."

She nodded. "When you love people, I think is very important to say that to them. They should know what you feel."

"I think that too."

"Do you tell her that you love her?"

"Ykhm. Not lately, honestly."

"Me either." She replied. "Maybe she was crying because we didn't tell her that for a while?"

"Or maybe not." He smiled down at her. "I really think the reason of that is pettier. I'm assuring you, she is completely fine. Stop worrying about that. We both are fine." He noticed her eyes were already close. "Come here." He lifted her. "I will take you to your bed."

"No. To mommy." She mumbled into his neck. Upstairs, halfway to Blair's door, Eileen shrank her head back facing Dan, not so sleepy anymore. She snaked her arms around his neck tightly. "I love you daddy." She declared truthfully, flashing him the sweetest of smiles.

He didn't anticipate that. His eyes sparkled at her. "I love you too. So much." He hugged her. Her tiny posture sank into his arms. "I love you so much." He whispered again stroking her back. After a long moment which lasted way too short for him anyway, he put her on the ground and waited until she walked in to Blair's bedroom. Before she closed the door behind her she sent him quick kisses, beaming widely, showing that sweet dimples on her rosy cheeks. He caught happily every single one. When she finally closed them and he was left alone, his smile decreased at once.

'That will be the hard day.' He thought.

.

.

.

Eileen crawled over on the bed nestling herself next to Blair under her silk cover.

Blair half opened one eye. "Hi sweetie. You came to me." She said contently. "Come closer." She enveloped on arm around her daughter, pressing her into her chest. The girl put her head on the pillow right next to Blair's facing her.

"Mommy."

"Yeah."

"I love you." Blair opened her eyes fully this time, couldn't refrain a smile.

"I love you too honey very, very, much." She petted her locks.

"I want you to know."

"I know that Ellie, don't worry." She hugged her strongly.

"Will you remember even when I forget to tell you that?"

Blair laughed softly. "I will remember." She answered guaranteeing.

"I don't want you to be sad ever again."

Blair got a bit alarmed why Eileen was patently upset and why she was thinking she was sad. "Honey I'm not sad at all. I'm quite the contrary. I'm the happiest person on Earth because I have you."

"Really?"

"Of course." She kissed her. "Would you nap with me for a little bit longer?"

The girl nodded, snuggling to her mom even more.

.

.

.

Dan was exhausted. That was the longest day at work in his life. Meeting after meeting, fresh issues emerged into a picture every hour ahead, from warlike debacle about the cover topic and the wrangle about leitmotiv of photo shoot for the next week's number to the argument about health service report and dispute about book review on the blog. Ten people ten different opinions. Dan as a head of it had a casting vote, so he decided adamantly, confidently and quickly and charged everyone to go back to their work. He had to put so much energy to focus on the subjects that day as never before. His thoughts constantly drifted to Ellie and Blair.

Dan walked out from his office 5 minutes past 11, when was already dark outside. By the time he arrived to the apartment it will be almost midnight. He realized that he didn't see Ellie whole day except the talk in the morning and that he would not see her right now because she was already sleeping obviously. He groaned displeased. And he probably wouldn't catch Blair either. He was pondering all day what Ellie said to him, he was thinking that over in every possible level, concluding nothing. He simply hesitated, not that sure about his – theirs, decision anymore. On the top of that Eric dropped by and brought keys to the loft. He could move out without a hitch now.

As he suspected Eileen was sleeping peacefully in her bed, he checked on her silently. She was sleeping on her stomach uncovered strangling Cedric. Dan smiled at the view. He picked the duvet up from the floor and enveloped her delicately, knowing that she will throw off it in her sleep anyway. He stroked her cheek tenderly and exited the room. Blair's bedroom was closed, she probably was sleeping too. He decided that he wouldn't disturb her right now.

After hot, soothing, refreshing shower he headed to his room, when he heard Blair downstairs in the kitchen, he came to decision.

He was standing in the dark side of the living room leaning back on the wall right next to kitchen entrance. When she walked out with the bottle of water in hand, she flinched scared at his presence not expecting him there at all.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He said genuinely.

"It's ok." She replied eying him discretely. He was wearing plaid pajama bottom and white tank top indecently exposing his arms and chest, weak spots of her, not the only ones by the way. She bit her lower lip, couldn't help. And he smelled so good. As always, but her senses were definitely keen in that moment. "Hard day at work?" She asked casually, not wanting to ask about why he came back so late. She felt like she had no right. He could do what he wanted though.

"Yeah. There was hustle and bustle in the office." He sighed tiredly. "I had to stay longer and tied everything up."

"That's what boss should do, I guess." She smiled weakly. "Eileen was asking about you all day."

"I'm sorry I didn't warn her that I can be so long at work. It wasn't scheduled, next time I call you, or something." He explained guiltily, standing closer to her. Her old silky, blue nightwear which he remembered fit on her perfectly now was oversized that she had to roll up her sleeves. 'Can small size be even too big?' He looked at her thoughtfully. "I talked with her in the morning." He grunted. Blair widened her eyes on him surprised. "She was worried about you…"

Blair heaved a sigh. "I figured this out. She was very protective and supportive today. I don't know why she is like that… I told her that there is nothing to worry about." She was toying with a bottle looking down.

"Is that so?" She looked at him confused. "She saw you crying alone in the bathroom." Her mouth opened. "Are you trying to say that you are crying for no particular reason?" Her mind went completely blank when he asked her that question. "Blair what's wrong?" He approached to her, she backed up from him. He stopped in place.

"What's wrong?! Everything is wrong. This is wrong!" She waved a hand between them. "And this." She waved a hand around the place, trailing off in the middle of her thought. "Excuse me but I'm tired so…"

He took a deep breath before replied. "I get that you don't want me around but you have to deal with it because I will never give up on Ellie." He informed her decadently. "If you don't want to live here, you could just say."

"You don't understand." She snarled, turning her head hiding watery eyes.

"Yes you are right I do not understand." He came back at her. "What do you want?!" He waited staring at her. "What do you want Blair?! I need to know!" He asked again more angrily. She stood still, she would hurry upstairs and hide in her room if he wouldn't be on her way. "Fine, you don't wanna talk I will do the talking." He inhaled. "I'm trying. I'm really trying to get past it. For Eileen's sake, for you… but you don't help me. You are reserved and distant towards me. You ignore or avoid me. You constantly push me away, no matter what I am doing. All efforts I'm making are pointless, because you are rejecting everything. You gave up on us so easily before. And you are doing it now with everything else."

"I'm rejecting you!? I gave up on you!? You have to be kidding me?!" She blew up. "You." She pointed a finger at him. "You want to divorce with me!" She yelled in whisper.

"Because you want it! I'm doing what you want! You are repeating that for last five years! And you agree on it not further than yesterday!" He was lowering his voice. "I love you." He threw suddenly. She turned her head rapidly on him wiping tears from her cheek. "I want to be with you. There is nothing I want more. Be with you and Ellie. Be the real family. I love you." He repeated. "I'm feeling it and I'm saying it." He paused, studying her. "Last five years showed as that we can live without each other, the question is if we want to." He paused. "I don't want." He claimed. "This all philosophy of being apart despite love is a load of shit. I don't believe in it. Love is the only, sufficient reason of being together. Denying it it's just making yourself unhappy and even worse a coward." He paused again, catching her red eyes. "When two people love each other they should be together." He couldn't read her face. "Do you love me?" He asked resolutely clearly wanting an answer. Blair was standing with lowered head, her hair covered her face. She was silent. His eyes almost pleaded her to look at him and say. Something. Anything. His eyes shut tight. "Ok. I get my answer." He said disenchanted with cracked voice. He opened his heart in front of her, once again. His memory drifted to the scene in the loft when he said that he loves her for the first time. He sighed, his eyes filled with tears. Today hurt more, he must admit that. He spun around and was ready to go upstairs without a word, but he stopped and turned to her one last time. "You know what hurt the most." She still didn't dare to look at him. "That you had no desire to talk with me back then. Yell at me, slap me or tell me what you think about me. That you didn't even try. I witnessed for years your fights for Nate, Serena or Chuck. You craved for the confrontation with them after every horrible thing they did to you, no matter what this was. You desperately, obsessively wanted to face with them head-on. To get them back, to revenge on them or any other reason. With me you back down and without hesitation cut me out of your life. I naively thought that I was important to you at some point, but I guess this all prove oppositely." That last statement faded in whisper. "Eric gave me back keys to the loft, tomorrow I'm gone. And I will talk with Eileen about that if you don't mind." After that he made a few, hurried steps on stairs.

"I love you!" She called out. He stopped on track. "I've never stopped. I don't want you to doubt in that." She stood still, composure, trying to keep her posture upright, looking up at him. "I don't want divorce. I want to be with you. Always. Forever. If you let me." She added shyly. She rubbed her one arm for comfort and courage. "I want to be family with you again. Better one. Bigger one. Ellie, you and me. All three of us." He finally turned to her, still standing on the stairs. She took a deep, shaky breath. "You were and are the most important, you are essential, you are everything to me. You have always been and you will always be." She anxiously rubbed her chin. "I was broken, nothing more nothing less. I didn't know what to do and even if I would have known I had no strength to do it. With them was easier because I didn't expect anything good from them. I was prepared that sooner or later they betray me or cheat on me or use me or leave me. I accustomed to that. I knew how to deal with that. With you was different. I trusted you completely. I wasn't insecure about us. The pain I felt after your suppositional betrayal was incomparable. I never felt like that before. I cared about you the most. I loved you the most. I still do." She pressed her lips together feeling freed but exposed and vulnerable. "I'm sorry for everything."

In a spur-of-the-moment Dan jumped down promptly from the steps and strode towards her with solemn expression on his face. He snatched her hand in his leaded them buoyantly upstairs. She withstood a bit at first clueless. "What are you doing?" He tightened his hold and continued dragging her ahead. Couldn't keep up after his pace, she had to grasp a railing, dropping plastic bottle on the ground.

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tbc

Editing this chapter on ff site was THE NIGHTMARE


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey my favourite people. It's me again. Thank you so much for reviews. It's really important to me, and make me so happy. :):):)**

**This chapter is 'a bit' smutty. I'm so embarassed. I hope nobody gets disgusted or something. My lack ability in writing it reached a peak, I think.**

**This chapter isn't that coherent like I wanted ehh, it's weird. I'm not satisfied at all but there it is.**

**Despite that I hope you will enjoy it somehow.**

**Mistakes everywhere I know. I feel terrible for that.**

**About the flashbacks: hmm I didn't plan them, and I don't think I will do it in a full dimension anyway. Maybe I will try to sneak them in present somehow. I can't promise. I simply don't have any idea on them...  
Maybe just try to imagine them, my lovley readers. Your perfect Dair wedding will be their wedding in this story then, I would be honored. :):):)**

* * *

**Eileen (Part 5) **

Dan closed the door of _their_ bedroom still holding her hand. He made her climb clumsy on the bed following right behind her.

"What are you doing?" She asked with widen eyes, half sitting.

"You are tired so we are going to sleep." He said casually, coolly. "Just lie down." He grabbed her waist and settled himself next to her spooning her, holding her close against his body. She intertwined their fingers involuntarily when she felt his body adjusted to hers and his hot breath on the back of her neck, she sighed loudly. "There is no way that you will fall asleep…" He said with closed eyes, sighing.

She shook her head no and shifted on her other side to face him, not leaving a space between them. Their legs were tangled, chests touching, his arm enveloped loosely her hip, her hand smoothed his shoulder. "What is this?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "That is how wife and husband are going to sleep. We are married right." He said with obvious manner.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Don't understate it. I'm serious."

"I'm serious too and I'm not understating us." He stated confidently. "We are married, together and in love. Simple."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. It's about time actually. We are constantly wasting time and I'm sick of it."

"No talking?"

"No talking."

She sighed leaning her forehead on his chest. "It's weird that you don't wanna talk…"

"Because there is nothing to talk about…" She sighed again. He saw that this time she would like to talk. "Now you wanna talk us over… Your reflex Blair is astounding." He teased. She nudged him pouting her lips fully annoyed. "Ouch. Ok. Let's talk!"

She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "So we are together like together-together for real." She asked incoherently.

He laughed. "Is it possible to be together-together?" He mimicked. "Not for real?"

"Humphrey!"

"Oh and we are on the very good way to be together-together." He said playfully. "For real." He accented, laughing lightly. She called him Humphrey for the first time. "I hope we are done with that Dan thing." He continued laughing. Blair tried to get out of his embrace. "No no no. You are not going anywhere. We are talking remember... I'm serious from now ok."

She snuggled into him a little closer. "So we are not divorcing." He shook his head no decidedly. "You are not moving out to the loft."

"No."

"You move in here instead." She referred to their bedroom shyly playing with a binding of his tank.

"Yes." He smiled.

She exhaled relieved. "And we are family and we are doing family things." She pressed her lips together.

He squinted his eyes. "Yeah. And if you allude to sex… most definitely yeah." He said cockily, winking at her archly.

She grunted getting red. "I meant Ellie, you and me with board games in the living room or in our summer house in Hamptons in some weekends. But if you think about it in more private way, I would love to." She smiled coyly.

They watched each other carefully, longingly for a while. They should kiss right at this moment, but none of them made a move. Not yet.

"So we discussed everything. We know where we are standing. Can you sleep finally in peace of mind?"

"I'm too thrilled for sleeping." She answered. "Maybe you have more questions… I don't know."

"Hmm…" He was thinking. "Why didn't you change your name back?"

"Well." She was a little surprised by his question. "I've never even consider that to be honest… we were still married and I was waiting for so long to become Mrs. Humphrey… that would be hard to let go." He looked at her adoringly his eyes danced all over her face truly touched. Seeing it she asked quickly distracting him. "Why were you wearing a wedding band all this time?" She touched his hand and started playing with his ring.

"We were still married and I was waiting for so long to be your husband. I couldn't let it go." He paraphrased her words, meaning them. "Why aren't you wearing yours?" He asked back immediately, he wasn't resentful just curious.

"I was. Now I can't." He looked at her confused. "Sorry…" She tucked her hand under his neck then under a pillow. He lifted his head a little and she drew a tiny box from there. She opened it and pulled out her engagement ring and wedding band, she put them on on her fingers. "There are too big." She swayed her hand and the rings tinkled, when she directed a hand down the rings slipped off easily and fell down on the mattress between them. "They used to fit." She said with nostalgia.

"Oh my god Blair." He said that more dramatically than he intended. "I'm sorry." He lifted her palm and kissed it thoughtfully.

"I don't want to smaller them…"

"Then don't do that." He said simply, sympathizing with her.

"But I want to wear them."

"Don't worry we will figure something out." She looked at him curiously. "Maybe my waffles treatment helps." He grinned down at her.

She laughed breathlessly. "Maybe…" He kissed her. Finally. In utterly natural reaction on her laugh. He cupped her face and crashed his lips into her roughly, hungrily, grounding her. Her head sank into the pillow and her arms hooked his neck, pressing him firmly closer to her. His hand caressed a side of her body, stopping on her waist. They both breathed in loudly into their mouths, released. Their tongues danced in a perfect sync with each other.

He pulled away unexpectedly. She whined in a lack of contact. "Oh god… I missed this. I missed you so much."

She leaned in impatiently and extended their smooch, digging her palms in his curls. "I missed you too." She said out of breath.

He put his head next to hers, their foreheads and noses were teaching. "Your turn." He said licking his lips. She frowned still gasping. "A question."

"Oh." The last thing in her mind right now was a stupid survey. But one question went around in her head for quite the time. "Hmm I don't think I have right to ask…" She trailed off. "Did you…" She swallowed nervously. "Did you date someone?" She looked at him unsure. "It's ok if you… I can't be mad." She added quickly. "I know…"

"Blair." He interrupted her, smoothing the side of her head fondly. "Like I've told before… I never cheated on you." He locked his eyes in hers. "I couldn't imagine to be with anyone else than my wife."

Shy smile formed on her face. "Really?"

"Of course. I'm not interested in any other woman than you. It comes from way back and a long time ago. For good."

She nestled into him. "You are trying to say that girls didn't hang around such a hot catch…" She said teasingly.

"I'm not a catch." He said faking outrage. "This…" He held his hand up showing his ring. "This excludes me from that term. And I didn't say that there weren't anybody around. I said that I wasn't interested." She nodded. "You?" She peeked up. "Were you meeting someone?"

"No."

"Not even once?" He squinted jokingly.

"I'm not gonna lie, at school I was asked out couple times, but I always showed my wedding ring as a tactful way for refusal, and if that didn't deter I told that I have a baby. That worked every single time." She laughed lightly, shaking her head. She saw a flick of sadness in his eyes. She had their baby all this time, who he had no idea about. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" He waved his hand dismissingly and kissed her on the lips, mumbling that he was fine. She exhaled. "I couldn't even see me touching someone else or being touch by someone else." She said seriously. "I love you." She confessed caressing his jaw.

"I love you too." He pulled her into a hug and kissed a top of her head. He slinked his head back when he heard a tiny weep. "Blair are you ok?"

"Yeah. I just can't believe this it's true. That we are here like this. I thought that wouldn't be possible ever again." She sniffed. "I'm so happy."

He tightened his embrace, rubbing her back consolably. "We are fine. I promise I will never let ruin it again. You stuck with me." She chuckled a bit through the tears nodding her head in agreement.

After a few moments of comfortable silence she asked. "Are you scared?"

He knew that she didn't ask about them. "Yes, I am." He answered honestly.

She closed her tired eyes. "I'm petrified Dan. If something will happened to her… I'm not gonna survive it again."

"Shh. She will be ok."

"Humphrey." She choked. "Statistic speaks that kidney after transplant works around 13 years in the best case scenario. It's maximum. Can you imagine her in teenage years, with life goals and plans, with the whole life ahead of her, starting dialysis again?" She asked rhetorically. "It can stop working for six months or two years or five as well." She added with a sob.

He kissed a watery spot under her eyes. "I know all of this and yes it's scary. But it's possible to live with transplant kidney even 30 years, though. There were cases like that not that rarely. She will be all right. She will be taking medicines and obeying all prescriptions. If something will start to going on, my kidney is ready, and then even yours. She will have long, happy life. She will realize her dreams. She will even have children if she will want to. She wouldn't miss anything. I dedicate myself to make that happen."

"I envy your optimism, really." She sighed. "I just would like for her to live without that fear hanging over a head all the time that something can happen in every moment, out of sudden basically."

"We can't agonize over it Blair. That could wipe us out. We need to enjoy life despite that as so far, and teach her that."

"Rather she will teach us." Blair said with a tiny smile.

"Yeah. She is fabulous." He pressed her to his chest absently. "So light-hearted and cheerful. She has already very strong personality. She wouldn't self-pity over herself. She will pass it again if it would be necessary. I'm sure of that."

"I love you." He smiled down at her flatteringly. "I'm gonna repeat it like a mantra from now. This is so liberating." He laughed lightly. "I love you." She kissed him chastely, to her pleasure Dan couldn't resist and deepened it.

"I love you too, more than much." Blair laughed into his mouth, he grinned proudly. "It's true." He said flirty. They locked their eyes. "It's really late. We should get some sleep."

She nodded obediently and shifted on her previous position. He adjusted again to her body spooning her and holding her thigh. He kissed her shoulder and nape, she felt his smile on her skin. They both felt asleep with huge beams on their faces.

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Blair woke up next morning grinning widely with still closed eyes. That couldn't be dream. She felt well-known body pressed against hers, that must be Dan. She sighed contently. She opened her eyes finally. Curtains were disclosed, sunlight was filled the room.

She looked at alarm clock on the nightstand and frozen. '11.18!' She saw. "Dan! Dan!" She shook him promptly. He groaned stretching his legs. "Eileen! Oh my god! We are horrible parents." She was already on her knees ready to jump over him.

"Chill out girl." He grunted, rubbing his eyes.

"Humphrey!" She said indigent, then she noticed that he was already dressed in his jeans and khaki long sleeve and frowned.

"If anything, you are horrible parent." He retorted bantering. She opened her mouth in shock. "Blair she is fine. She took her pills and ate breakfast properly." He said calmly laying her down on the bed. "Jenny was here to borrow my typewriter and she took her on vintage-hipster photo shoot or something." He brushed his hand over her hair. "We are all alone here." He widened his eyes suggestively, pressing his body on her.

"You gave her over one hundred years old typewriter? You know how long I was looking…" He rudely didn't let her finish the sentence. "Mmmm…" His lips was already right behind her ear, her fingers sank in his locks. "If they destroy it…"

"Oh because you really care." He teased, roaming his one hand under her pajama top, looking for her breast.

She moaned when he reached it. "You don't have to be at work?"

He shook his head no. "I have other plans for today." His eyes darkened. He looked at her seriously, lustfully. "Making love to you for example."

"Umm… even you have good ideas sometimes." She bit her lower lip, arching her head back, exposing her neck and cleavage for him. He obliged immediately. He pulled away when he felt that she was trying to remove his sweater. Blair licked her lips devilishly when he exposed his impeccably muscular chest and abs. Dan unbuttoned her top in response and ran his fingertips up and down her bare upper body appreciatively. Then finally, he leaned down really slowly and kissed her. She felt herself shiver. He slowly kissed up and down her body, taking a special care of her breasts, when he spotted her c-section scar he left there trail of wet kisses and smoothed it lovingly by his thumb. She never felt more loved. That gesture almost made her cry.

He went back roughly to her lips. "You are so beautiful." He mumbled between the kisses. She could feel herself soaking through her bottom nightwear, he slowly slid his hand into her night pants. She gasped loudly feeling her own wetness. When he slipped his middle finger inside her, she moaned and arched her back. He took one of her nipples in his mouth and teased her while he fingered her. Blair couldn't stop squirming as she felt herself building into an orgasm. She kept arching back and grabbing the sheets. A clamorous moan escaped from her mouth. Good that Ellie was out, because she didn't think she could keep silent otherwise. Finally he kissed all the way down to her belly button and then got this smug smirk and kissed up and down her thighs until she was begging him.

"Dan! I swear… I can't…" In that second hebegan to lick and explore her center. "Oooohhh." She gasped in delight. "Oh Dan!" She began to arch her back and move against him and grabbed the back of his head to pull him closer. She came off, grunting and trembling hard.

He kissed her up again. "You tasted so delicious." He breathed out. "You are amazing Waldorf." He crashed his lips on hers. She could taste herself on him what turned her on even more. "Amazing." He repeated dreamily. She reached down to unbuckle his pants and boxers. She started to run her hand up and down his length. When he finally couldn't take it anymore he entered her. They both moaned in pleasure and surreal release. "It's been so long… so long." He whispered into her crook of her neck, panting. She barely heard him but she understood because she felt the same. They fitted perfectly. That wasn't revelation. Dan began to rock gently, painfully slow at first, savoring her warmness and wetness. "God you feel so fucking good." He murmured. Their longing for each other seemed to be unfulfillable. She needed him. She wanted him closer, more and more. The simple connection seemed to be not enough. She wrapped her legs around his waist tighter, bucking her hips against his, encouraging him. He got a hint, couldn't stand it himself any longer. He began thrust into her faster and deeper. He lanced their fingers and held their hands above her head. He locked his eyes on her face, clearly fascinated. What was so special about Dan that he never had just sex with her. He had that wondrous ability to create emotional, intimate bond between them, showing her how love intensified every sensation, proving how extraordinary they were, how special she was, worshiping every part of her – her soul, her mind and her body.

"Humphrey kiss me." She ordered, not only because she missed his lips, but his look made her blushed and even abashed a little. She was moaning so loud because he kept pounding into her right spot and she simply couldn't control herself anymore. She orgasmed two more times while they had continued making love, crying his name relentlessly. The look on his face when he came inside her was so sexy, that she could do this endlessly only to had a chance seeing him like this.

Dan lay on his back holding Blair firmly against his chest, smoothing her back tenderly. Duvet covered loosely only their lower parts. She was listening his heart and ruling circles by her finger on his bare arm absently. "That was quite something." She said joyfully still breathing heavily.

"We are good together." He answered simply.

"We are made for each other." She looked up at him. "I missed you."

He leaned and stole a long kiss from her. "I missed you too. You have no idea how much." He paused. "I love you."

She returned a kiss, smiling into his mouth. "I love you too." She rested her head on his chest again.

Perfect.

They rested together like this for a while, Dan was continuing caressing her back. "You know that I can count your ribs."

Blair exhaled annoyed. "You are the master in ruining nice moments." She stayed wrapped tightly on his chest. "I know that I looked like skeleton and that Dorota's 13 years old daughter looks more feminine that me." She retorted. "You didn't have to point that out."

Dan rolled his eyes. "You know that I don't imply to your look… like you outlined it. I'm worrying about you."

"I lost my weight when I found out about Ellie's diagnosis. That's whole secret." She sighed. "It's not bulimia."

"I know that Blair, you said that before... I just need you to be healthy, for selfish reasons. I don't wanna even think that you can get sick or something."

"I'm completely fine." She smiled at him genuinely, kissing his torso. "I just look crummy." She laughed.

"You were in permanent stress for a couple of months, you lost a lot of weight…" He reasoned and paused. "Do you have your period regularly?" He asked straightforward. She shifted awkwardly, making a bit of space between them, coughing silently, covering her chest by duvet. "What are you doing? There are no taboo topics here." He pulled her back into a hug. "I'm just asking. In defiance of popular belief I'm not a crass caveman."

"Of course you are not Humphrey." She interjected defensively, she didn't like when he depreciated himself even if that was indirectly or in jokes.

"Blair, could you please answer my question."

"No, I don't have. At all." She replied quickly.

"And according to you young woman without a period is still completely fine?" She huffed noiselessly. "Since when?"

"February." Dan sighed in frustration. "I know Dan. You really don't have to lecture me. I'm going to see my doctor soon."

"Tomorrow." She frowned. "You will see with a doctor tomorrow, promise me that."

"I don't think…"

"Promise me."

"Fine." She gave up. "I will try to call later to make an appointment."

"Ok." He accepted the answer. "What would you say if we will take a shower now, together for the sake of environment." He offered mischievously. "And then I'm gonna feed you with my secret plat du jour for today." He laughed off his own attempt of speaking French. He was terrible. He expected Blair's sassy remark, for example that luckily Ellie didn't inherit his luck of ability to learn foreign languages. He would be answer that the only language he had problems with was French and banter would be going on and on.

But Blair didn't even bother to riposte. Her mind was already in the shower.

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Dan was cooking the most caloric lasagna he managed, while Blair was just sitting on the stool swaying innocently, not trying to distract him at all. She was just stealing glances with him, or hanging around the kitchen unproductively, just following his moves, inspecting him by looking over his shoulder, brushing gently his back or waist or nape.

What leaded Dan to kiss her, what turned into making out, over and over again.

When they heard the front door and adorable, giggly tiny voice of their baby, they smiled into their mouths. Blair tiptoed to the foyer quickly, excitedly, to greet Eileen, she didn't see her all day.

"Mommy!" Ellie called cheerily. "Look what I've got." She showed her new picture from the photo shoot. "Professional photographer took them." She said happily.

"Oh yeah there are beautiful, and you never had photos from a professional." She cupped her daughter's cheeks and kissed her.

"I have to put them into the frames. Come with me." She turned to Jenny.

"Go sweetie I will be right there in a minute ok." She nodded and ran upstairs. She totally ignored Dan when he called after her "Hi'. He just laughed to himself and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hi Jen." He greeted his sister when she approached the kitchen with Blair.

"Maybe you will stay on dinner with us." Blair offered sitting on the stool.

"Yeah that great idea." Dan said simply.

Jenny crossed her arms. "You don't have to be at work?"

"No." He answered, surprised that she was asking. "I will call by there around 5. Why?"

"Nothing." She smacked her lips, stamped one of her foot, squinting her eyes on them, flashing on them scoffing smirk.

"What?" Blair asked getting uncomfortable.

"You are all smiles, Blair." Blair looked down couldn't help a smile. "I can see Dan's relaxing methods are effective." Blair blushed in purple after that comment, hiding behind her hand awkwardly.

"Jen." Dan warned her strictly.

"Don't be so abashed. You had sex, good one…" Blair and Dan looked at each other sharing a smug smile. "…or two." She winced at the view. "Assuming from that famous postcoital cocky grin of yours." She eyed Dan. "And that blear, dreamy, dazed eyes." Then she turned to Blair.

"Shut up… or get out." He threw a dishtowel on her. "Your invitation for dinner is canceled." Jenny ignored him completely, like Ellie before.

"Oh such the prunes, who would have thought." She sat next to Blair. "I had that dubious pleasure to live with you for a week in loft the summer before your wedding. The worst decision of my life. Do you realize that walls in loft basically don't exist? I had to sleep with earplugs on." She shuddered at the memory with disgust. "You really don't have to be so virtuous. I'm aware that you didn't find Ellie on the corn field." She exactly knew how to embarrassed people, and she never hesitated to do that.

"Those facetious comments are really uncalled."

"I don't really care." She stuck her tongue out on him. "I'm going to my one and only niece, leaving you here alone, be decent horny people." She headed to the stairs. "Because if your precious, firstborn little girl would catch you, she could have trauma for the rest of her life, like me." She shook her head with distaste. "And Dan please wash your hands before you touch the food." Then she disappeared.

"Humphreeeey!" Blair whined, more shocked than embarrassed. "She is unbearable. Do something." He laughed. "It's your sister."

"You know." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Siblings usually spite each other." His eyes flicked on her. "So… I think we can't do anything else that kiss here…" He pecked her lips. "…for a while."

"Mmm…"She embraced him tight.

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When Dan walked out of the bathroom he saw Ellie snoring slightly in Blair's arm in their bed. She was talking so passionately about that photo shoot and aunty Jenny that wasn't surprise that she crashed out on place. Dan smiled widely at the view and took her gently trying to not waking her up.

Then they were lying in their pajamas, in cozy embrace mantled by the cover.

"I didn't know that you had a c-section." He said trying to sound casual, looking at the ceiling. How long they will be learning new things about each other yet?

Blair sighed. "Yeah… She was born 8 days before a due date. It' not that abnormal or something but that had to be done thorough the c-section. Pregnancy was completely fine." She added quickly. "And she was perfectly healthy, so…" She ended with suspend. She felt that he was somewhere else in his thought. "Dan?" She looked at him and put her chin on his chest. "Dan?" She touched his jaw timidly by a top of her palm.

"I just keep finding out new thing about you." Her eyes filled with guilt immediately. He noticed it and brushed hair from her forehead. "Blair I don't want you to blame yourself, I'm not angry with you and I don't want it to impend over us too, that we would have brought that up during our fights, which let face it there will be a lot of them." He winked but didn't humorous her. He sighed out. "We have to be honest with each other, and…" He trailed off. "I just wish I would have been with you two from the start, experienced it all. Your pregnancy, her birth, her first everything. I saw pictures but… I will never have chance to hold her when she was so tiny and precious, or feed her or sing her lullabies or rock her into a sleep." He paused taking a look on her face. "Don't cry." He wiped her spots over her eyes. "Come here." He pulled her even closer. "I didn't tell you that because I wanted you to anguish yourself. This is the only issue which can cause tension between us, and this is the last thing I want. It must be cleared once and for all. I just want you to understand and accept the fact that I can get melancholic about it sometimes. I rather know that I will." He added. "This is one of those times. When I was putting Ellie in bed I realized that." He said openly. "And remember that I don't hold a grudge against you, it's not because that. It's just sadness that I missed it. That I missed that time with you. That's all."

"But it's my fault. I will never forgive myself…" She spoke with shaking voice.

"You have to Blair."

"If I would be in your shoes I would make you suffer to the rest of your life for that you know that right." She said with disarming frankness. "You instead are making it easy for me and it makes me feel even worst." She sniffed loudly.

"I love you. It's my job to make you happy and make things easy for you, not hurting you." He reached for the quilt and covered her protectively.

"I regret it. I regret what happened. Our unwilling separation, jumping into senseless conclusions, not talking to you... But what I regret the most is that I separated Ellie and you. I have nothing to justify myself. I would have given anything to turn back the clock. You have to believe me, I wanted you with us every second."

"I know that." He assured her. "Please calm down. We are more that fine now. Stop torture yourself. From now everything will be like it should have been from the beginning ok." She nodded.

"Do you really think that we can leave normally, that we can get past it?"

"Yes." He said confidently. "If you let the guilt go. It's up to you."

Saying that she adored this man was not enough.

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They didn't announce that they were reconciled. Everybody hoped for that, but there were no push. So when they came one day to the penthouse holding hands and couldn't take their eyes off themselves, their families sighed with relief, passing it off lightly.

They just started live again, figuratively and metaphorically. That was pretty intense living. They were enjoying time with Ellie. Relishing each other company. Exploring their new built or maybe rebuilt family. Family cooking, family meals, family clearing-up, family walks, family picnics, family movie evenings. Mix of collective family duties and fun.

_Family_ their new favorite word.

Dan and Blair never forgot about themselves during the process. Their dormant passion for each other was awakened in double force after reunion.

When Lily and Rufus insisted on taking Ellie on weekend in Hamptons, because they couldn't get enough of her just in one afternoon, they had doubts – three days without their gorgeous daughter – impossible. But the guilt Dan had after leaving her in his dad's apartment was quickly forgot when he saw Blair, waiting for him only with two glasses of wine in hands in their living room.

It's not that they didn't get intimate when Eileen was at home, they did obviously, but then they just had to be very careful because she had in habit come into their bedroom and sit on their bed and watch them. Dan woke up several times like this. He always scooted over that she could lie down between him and Blair. He couldn't be happier. Having both of his beautiful girls in his arms – priceless feeling. Heaven on earth.

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"Why do you knock Dorota?" Blair asked her opening a front door for her. "It's basically your home too." Dorota gave her doubtful look. "Ok. Come in." She said cheerfully, beaming from ear to ear. "I kicked off Dan and Ellie, and we have all evening for us." She stated jokingly.

"Where did you send them? It's pretty late for Ellie…"

"They went to the loft, entertain Rufus." She grunted before spoke again. "Serena is back in the city."

"Oh." Dorota gasped in displeasure.

"Under the guise of meeting with Lily, she probably just came for money, as usual. And you know, when she arrives Rufus is moving to the loft for a couple of days. So they will stay there tonight." She smiled. Dorota looked at her carefully. "I'm fine Dorota." She laughed lightly. "Nothing will ruin my mood."

"I can see." She smiled and looked her over. "You look so happy, content… relaxed." She arched her eyebrows knowingly.

"Oh the damn I am!" She laughed breathlessly, hugging her spontaneously. Dorota couldn't recall when she saw her like that before, with Dan yes, but in pre-Dan period, never. She prayed for the happy ending for Blair's family all these years. And finally there was, happy beginning. "How silly that sound?"

"It doesn't sound silly, it sound right." Dorota pulled away, still holding both of her palms.

"I'm so happy. You have no idea. We were with Ellie on her regular checkup, she is totally fine, test results are excellent." She paused. "And with Dan…" She sighed dreamily. "Oh my, it's like extended honeymoon or better." She laughed. "I'm so happy." She repeated.

"I'm so happy for you. That Ellie is fine, that you and Dan found each other again. You look fantastic. Brighter. Healthier."

"Yeah and I feel much better. Everything is better. Food taste better, flowers smells better…" She sighed. "Enjoying life again is quite good thing." She laughed genuinely.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Blair. You deserve everything the best. This is new beginning, maybe even better one." She smoothed Blair's back supportively and then started to unpack a cheery cake she brought. "Oh nooo!" She cried in horror, spotting wine stain on the carpet.

"What?" Blair asked in confusion.

"I need salt and lemon and… no shaving cream. Where is Dan's shaving cream?" She headed already to the bathroom upstairs.

When Blair realized what was going on she rolled her eyes couldn't care less. "Dorota it's just a carpet, calm down." Dorota was more shocked by this statement that because of the stain. "You are not here to clean. We are going to sit down, turn on the movie, eat macaroons and talk. So called having fun. Not cleaning a stupid stain."

"Just a carpet. Luxurious, expensive, antiallergenic, made-to-order… just a carpet." She assured herself.

"Yeah." She grinned. "Believe me it was worth that stain." She laughed and shivered at the memory.

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The evening went on, on one of obligatory Lily's charity party.

Blair and Dan pretty much couldn't keep their hands off each other. Every time they kissed it turned into making out.

Every so often they'd be interrupted by significant clearing throat, and then they'd chat politely with some nearer unknown people until their next encounter.

When nobody was looking they were standing in the corner of the room and Dan had run his fingertips up Blair's inner thigh until she was aching for him, she in turn couldn't resist stroking him through his suit pants and… feeling him.

"Lily and your dad are looking at us, scowling more accurately." She managed to notice when he was kissing her neck.

"Who cares…"

"Mmm, they care obviously. We are endangering their reputation." She pulled away.

"Ours, if anything. What are we doing here anyway? I don't even know what it is about…"

"UES against domestic abuse." She put her lips straight.

"Oh." He frowned. "Important problem, for once."

"Hypocrites." She commented bitterly on the people crowned in the room. He looked at her carefully. She shook her head rejectedely, then smiled devilishly checking him seductively and walked away.

"What? Where are you going?" She didn't turn back, just passed him with that ridiculously slinky and short black dress. She wore it deliberately as a punishment for him. He wrinkled her proper outfit for tonight at home right before they were supposed to leave. That's way they were late.

10 minutes later he found her in the empty kitchen pouring water into a glass. He came up behind her and murmured. "I've been looking for you, runaway."

"Little tardily, don't you think?"

He started to kiss her neck apologetically, his teeth were grazing her skin and his lips were just under her ear, she gasped messing with his hair. Then Dan pressed himself into her, hard, grabbing her hips and pulling her against him. She arched her back to grind her bottom against his crotch and could feel him, straining through his pants. Flipping her around they were facing now, lustful eyes were locked in, he pushed her gently back against the counter and then leaned into her. "I want you so bad." He said insistently. "The whole fucking evening." His fingertips were pawing at her clit through already soaking underwear.

"I need you Dan…" She breathed out. "Right now… maybe we can find…" Without response he grabbed her hand and leaded them to the nearest door to the pantry.

They slipped inside and closed the door behind, being already on each other. Dan kissed her hard up against the wall, his hands on her hips, her arms wrapped around him tightly. Dan tugged down her shoulder straps and started licking and kissing her breast, dragging his teeth over her nipples. With every flick of his tongue her center twitched faster and harder. She couldn't bear anticipation anymore. She had to have him. She unzipped his pants hooking her thumbs under the waistband of them and his boxers and tugged them down in one go.

He was so hard. She licked her lips appreciatively. She wanted him inside of her so much. When Blair wrapped her hand around him suddenly, he buried his face in the crook of her neck unconsciously and growled against her shoulder. He roughly rolled up her dress and pulled down her panties kissing her pressingly, a little messy.

He positioned himself between her legs, sliding over her, rubbing against her clit teasingly.

"Oh god!" She cried out. He lifted her finally and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He scanned the room from the corner of his eyes, kissing her still, looking for the right spot. When he saw the little, empty shelf he approached and perched her on it. Blair spread her legs for him wantonly more than ready. "Fuck me!" She ordered. He just smiled smugly into her mouth. She never cursed. But there were exceptions of that which only he could cause. He didn't want her wait any longer. With one swift move he was inside her**.** They both smiled satisfied.

Like she said, he fucked her slowly, but hard. These little, shallow movements made her gasp. "Oh god. Sooo good!" She cried.

He lifted his hand to her mouth. "Shh…" He whispered. "For the sake of Lily's reputation." He mocked. And then he'd thrust a little harder, crashing her lips, swallowing her moans.

There were waitresses walking in the kitchen and passing by the pantry, talking and rushing around holding trays with empty, clanking glasses.

Blair was really trying not to cry out while he was hitting deliciously her spot over and over again. He kept filling her with slow, hard thrusts. With every fiber of her body she felt the orgasm reaching its peak.

Dan was getting close too. He was speeding up urgently his actions. His forehead was against her, sharing his breath with hers, hearing every murmur and gasp, even the sound of her wetness as he got deeper and deeper inside her.

"Blair!" He moaned loudly her name. She didn't shhh him like he did her before. "You feel so good." She felt his all muscles under her palms. They were so close.

Blair embraced him tighter moving her hips in circles with him. "Don't stop…" She was so full from him, and could feel him throbbing. With one final desperate thrust they came off together, exhaling loudly. She arched her head back still holding him close. Dan collapsed on her and slammed them against the wall, his legs almost buckling. He was pulsing back against her, they were jolting against each other clumsily, navigating the last wave of pleasure.

Slowly he kissed her and slipped outside of her. She could barely see straight, when he eased her down her legs where so weak that she couldn't keep her balance. Dan caught her firmly and steadied her. "Are you ok?" He asked into her ear, pressing his body against hers, they both were feeling each other heart beating fast.

"Yeah…" She answered with still closed eyes, gripping his waist finely. "I need couple moments." She said in daze, she felt so faint. He needed them too. They stood like that leaning on the wall, waiting until their breaths became less shallow and hotness more bearable.

He finally pulled away a little and started to put his clothes on back. Blair rolled down her dress slowly. She knew she didn't look presentable anymore, she felt sweat on her neck and back, her hair were tousled, let alone the dress and make-up, he didn't looked better what cheered her up a little.

She had feeling that was the time when they will decide to head home, finally.

Dan handed her her panties, she took them but instead put them on she smoothed his abs and pocketed them into his pant. "That's your property." She bit her bottom lip coyly. They were inch from each other.

Dan arched his brows, he was turned on already again. "Really. You are not gonna wear them despite that mini." He pointed at her exposed legs, caressing them tenderly.

"It's Stella McCartney. And it's not mini." It was ended in the middle of her thighs, it wasn't difference for Dan.

"You shouldn't wear things like that." Dan said weakly, sadly even, buttoning his shirt. That wasn't the beginning of banter.

She crossed her arms. "Excuse me." What was he implying? Did he tell her right now what she could wear what not. He never did that before.

"I see all the looks of other men around here. They lead their eyes towards you…"

"Are you jealous?" She smirked proudly.

"No." He answered. Yes he was.

Blair lightened up immediately and laughed lightly, going directly into his arms. These looks were flattering she couldn't deny it, but jealous, slightly possessive Dan was the prize. "Don't be ridiculous." He sighed annoyed. "What can they do?" He frowned. "Only watch. You are the only one who can touch. Me. Unlimitedly. To the end of time." She laughed.

Oh yes he could so he kissed her passionately.

"I don't like when they are looking so objectified at you and slobber over you. It's disgusting." She petted his jaw, watching him closely. "You deserve to be adored, not treat like someone's sexual target, no matter what you are wearing honestly. Loving you is way much more than this." Protective Dan was incredible. Was he really worrying about that? She didn't need anybody's attention, approval or acceptance though. She already had that with Dan. He was treating her unexceptionably**. **He was the only one she wanted.

"Dan, I am adored." She stated. "You are giving me everything I want and need. I don't care about anything or anyone else." She pecked his lips. "I'm so terribly in love with you." She confessed emotionally.

"That's the two of us." He returned the kiss. "And you were right, they are hypocrites."

"Well, I usually am." She accented playfully.

They walked out hoping that kitchen was empty. Of course it wasn't. They couldn't be that lucky. Two young girls stood uncomfortably near a kitchen counter, putting snacks on plates, pretending that they didn't see or hear anything. Dan just waved awkwardly on them with weak smile, kind of greeting, Blair held his hand in both of hers and hid her face in Dan's back, shuffling behind him.

"Mrs. Humphrey." Ginger, freckled 16 years old girl called out Blair shyly. "Your clutch." She extricated her hand giving it to Dan who made a move towards the girl.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Blair said brushing her hair nervously, still standing behind her husband.

"Bye." Dan said, leaded them outside.

"Of course I'm the one who has to witness this…" Jenny said sipping her champagne. They bumped into her unexpectedly.

"I have no idea what are you talking about." Dan said nonchalantly.

"Everything screams that you had sex just now." She said pointedly. "And really? Red lipstick on the shirt. So cliché." She said with disgust. "Just go home." She walked away.

And they did. When they were saying good bye to Lily and Rufus, parents eyed them discreetly and seemed to be relieved that they were finally leaving.

In the cab she snuggled into him. It's not that late. Maybe Ellie convinced Dorota to play and was still awake. She wouldn't be mad. She would kick off the heels, wear one of Dan's plaid shirt. She never thought, she would be so happy having that amount of plaid and flannel in her wardrobe again. She sighed to herself. And all three of them would be watch a movie – Lady and the Tramp maybe. She chuckled at the choice. He looked down at her slightly confused, but smiled back and kissed the top of her head.

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It's Sunday. Sunny, hot July morning. Dan and Ellie were eating breakfast in the kitchen, waiting for Blair. They had whole day planned, so many things to do.

"Humphrey!" Blair called out angrily, hurried down the stairs. "What is this?" She asked furiously, showing him her phone, paying zero attention on Ellie who was sitting on the chair next to Dan.

"Your cell phone." He tried to sound cool in front of Ellie, but he knew that this was the worst answer he could give. Blair threw the phone forcefully in his direction. He hardly couched it. "Blair, what th…" He bit his tongue.

"You…" She wanted to insult him probably but she growled wrathfully instead, turning on her heel and rushed to the office. He looked at the screen and groaned. Her e-mail box. Then he looked and smiled weakly at Eileen, brushing her forelock behind. She was holding a waffle in her tiny fingers and chewing a bite.

"I think you should go after her." She said with full mouth seemed to be unfazed by the action.

He smiled genuinely and kissed her temple. "I will be right back ok." She nodded sipping her lemonade.

The door was opened. He walked in and sat on the edge of the desk. He spun the office chair, she was in front of him now, sitting with her knees folded up against her body. "Believe me Blair, when I was sending your résumé without your knowledge I knew you would be angry, but I had to do this." He explained contritely. "And I didn't fabricate things there, it was your application, your experience, interest and education." He sighed. "They replied because they know you and your potential, they want to work with you. They were probably waiting for your application form, they know how good you are."

She darted away her look. "I'm not enough for you, that you apply for a job for me behind my back. You are ashamed of me being a housewife." She cringed. "Or stay-at-home whatever." Her voice cracked and her eyes shut tight, trying to stop the tears.

He deadpanned completely. "Are you kidding me, right? With assumption like this?" He couldn't believe. She didn't say anything. "I am not ashamed of you." He kneeled in front of her. "You can stay at home, crochet, sculpt or do absolutely nothing if you want." He tilted his head on the side. "I just want you to be happy in every area of your life. We started our careers together. And I remember how quickly you promote, how successful you were, your ideas were changed in gold with a heartbeat. Whole fashion world would have been at your feet right now if just things would have gone differently."

"What if I don't want it anymore?" She wept.

"Then don't do this. Nobody can force you to say yes." She sighed. "Remember that fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful girl capable of anything?" She looked at him immediately. "She still is like that. She just must believe in herself a little bit more." He exhaled. "I feel like this man who took it away from her." He said sadly.

"What?! You are kidding me this time." She said disbelieving.

He shook his head no. "I should have call you that day that I'm going back home earlier, that we are going to celebrate our anniversary properly, instead playing in stupid surprises. Then we would have had cheesy, romantic dinner and would have made love all night long like every other newly married couple in the day of wedding anniversary." He paused. "Then we wouldn't have missed our other anniversaries, we would have had the adorable brood of children." She arched her eyebrow, entertaining the idea even. "Ravishing, powerful, marvelous Blair would have been already a chief editor at Humphrey's Bazaar." He ended humorously. It worked she laughed.

"Dan you are not taking anything away from me. I am if anything. The idea of sending this application on my own crossed my mind couple times, but I don't think I'm ready. Ellie is still very little and after very serious operation, I couldn't leave her. And getting back on track in this world isn't that easy. I'm not sure I would handle it. And I don't want to disappoint, myself mostly."

"About Eileen nothing convinces you anyway, but about other thing – Blair you are not only the most fashionable person in this city, in this state or even in the whole east and west coast." She rolled her eyes. "You are trendsetter. You don't have to get back on track you are there all along. Maybe you should find courage… but it has to be your decision."

She sighed less frustrated than before. "I will think about it."

"Ok." He bend and hugged her, she let him. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No. But don't you dare to do something like this again." She was still sitting in the same position like before.

"I'm not going to." He promised. "I'm sorry." He studied her and leaned in and pecked her on the lips. She cupped his cheeks and extended a kiss.

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted, and Ellie saw that." She sighed.

As if on cue Ellie entered the room. Blair's eyes flickered with happiness. "Mommy your phone was ringing." Girl approached to them and handed over the mobile.

"Thank you sweetie." Blair smoothed a side of her daughter's head. She looked at the screen. "From Harper's Bazaar." She turned to Dan, little afraid. He nodded.

Dan outstretched his hand to Eileen, she grabbed it gladsomely. "Come on. We need prepare a basket yet." He winked at her.

"I know." She answered cheerfully. "Mommy would you come later. The waffles are so yummy. You should eat some." Dan laughed proud of himself.

Blair beamed at her. "I will. Wait for me in the kitchen ok." Ellie nodded decidedly.

They walked out holding hands.

They left her like this with the decision to make alone.

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TBC

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**AN**: "Unbelievable" long sexual abstinence. Some of you probably will question possibility of that. But honestly/personally I think it is possible. I'm not gonna start with my opinion about presenting relationships (all kinds), sex and sexuality in TV, especially on this particular shit series, because it's pointless and nobody wants to hear it... The thing here is that Dan and Blair despite of separation were married, still. Blair was deeply hurt but loved him, still. She was pregnant, then was focused only on the baby, then on school. She was not interested in any other man than her husband despite what she thought he did to her. And she wasn't legally free. Also she felt guilty because she didn't tell Dan about Eileen, and was confused why Dan fought for her so much. Dan was put into the fuckery and lived in limbo. Nobody wanted to help him finding out what happened. He was completely unaware and innocent, but he blamed himself for everything anyway. He put all his energy on fighting and searching. He was in love with her, totally devoted to her and simply loyal. He waited for the explanation, some information. Only then he could or would try to move on. They both cared all this time.

And once and for all, this is my story, my concept and I want it to be just like this. I'm not gonna change my mind/ideas like some incompetent people from tv aka gg writers.


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